tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32641988530677339762024-03-05T02:06:56.693-05:00Not As Lazy As You ThinkA group blog focusing on pop culture and politics with a, hopefully, healthy dose of humor.notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-7635669445380884922011-06-28T12:14:00.002-04:002011-06-28T12:18:17.953-04:00Werner Herzog: The Pursuit of Madness (Part One)<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">The first annual Herzogathon, hosted at Studio Six in Bristol, PA on January 1<sup>st</sup>, was a modest success. Although the turnout was small the response was emphatic. It’s no easy task to sit still and in one place for twelve consecutive hours of anything, let alone the work of a director whose cinematic preoccupations can politely be described as idiosyncratic. But the films of Werner Herzog are unique. Special. His is a cinematic language that transforms a world once familiar and renders it new, alien, bizarre but often awe-inspiring, populated by people better suited for a back-alley slum, traveling circus or asylum than the big screen; a world observed with such a level gaze and reverent sincerity it’s impossible to turn away from once under the director’s peculiar spell. Even those who dislike him never forget having seen (or endured) one of his films. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">This sense of the spellbinding is no coincidence. Herzog once hypnotized an entire cast for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Heart of Glass</i> (1976), the story about a small Bavarian village whose economy relies largely on the work provided by a local glassmaker and the production of a precious and one-of-a-kind “ruby” red glass. When the secret method to the glassmaking is lost with the death of its inventor the town slowly falls into despair, despite the warnings of a prophet who lives in the hills and implores the townspeople that they must seek a pragmatic solution to their crisis or face the destruction of the community. Herzog believed that by having the cast perform under hypnosis he could accurately convey the sense of mysticism surrounding the reclusive glassmaker and his unique creation, the power of an esoteric craft when introduced to a society unable to understand it and the cult that it can create as a result. He also expressed a desire to have himself appear onscreen before the start of the film to perform the same process of hypnosis used on the actors on the audience. But this, Herzog ultimately reasoned, was perhaps taking the idea a bit too far, even for him. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>If there is a unifying theme to the program that was exhibited (other than that the six films shown are personal favorites) it’s the idea of the individual or group driven so completely by the single-minded pursuit of something so unattainable that the mere attempt to attain it leads to madness and extinction. This certain “something” can be a physical object but in Herzog’s universe it’s often ideological; he has little use for the materialistic. Now this is a very general description of a large body of work that is both adventurous and prolific, and Herzog finds elements of his fascination with the megalomaniacal, the outcast and the mad, in many different places. In <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Even Dwarfs Started Small</i> (1970), the first and perhaps most challenging film of the series, a group of dwarfs detained in some kind of institution or forced-labor camp (it’s never specified) rebels against their captors and sets about wreaking havoc and destroying everything within the confines of their prison; the individuals formally in control of this unidentified place presumably have been forcefully overthrown, detained or killed. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Herzog seems less interested in the causes of the revolt in the film than the specific details of the characters run amok. There are virtually no scenes involving the directors of the institution or the display of force and repression that might justify and help us better understand the reasons for the dwarfs’ campaign of carnage. Instead there are extended scenes of stone throwing, plant burning, animal cannibalism and a crucified monkey marched in a makeshift procession around a littered and torched courtyard that make up most of the film’s ninety-six minutes. A passengerless truck endlessly drives in circles and seems to be the film’s central metaphor, an image Herzog repeatedly refers to. Not knowing what the characters are fighting for we’re not quite sure what they achieve, if anything. But perhaps chaos and destruction are what liberate the eponymous dwarfs from a life of oppression and limitation (their final crazed and desperate stand for independence), even if not forcefully imposed by some external authority but inherent in their condition simply by nature of their own debilitatingly small statures. This is a world that has no place for them so they set about making it uninhabitable for anyone (or anything) ever again. The film ends with the main character Hombre, the smallest of the small people, laughing maniacally at a camel unable to stand on its own four legs. Whether paralyzed because of a physical injury or paralyzed by fear we’re not sure, but it’s a painfully sad impairment that Hombre can’t seem to get enough of as the beast towers over him and he very nearly cackles himself to death.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Aguirre: The Wrath of God</i> (1972) can be seen (in a way) picking up where <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Dwarfs</i> leaves off, as a group of displaced people wander aimlessly through a foreign and hostile country in which they are ill-equipped to survive. It is the 16<sup>th</sup> century and an army of one thousand Spanish conquistadors descends from the mountains (with armor, canons and sedan chairs in tow) into the wilds of the South American jungle. This is one of Herzog’s most striking and memorable images. He opens his film on a cloud of fog, faint and indistinct, and slowly as the camera pans down to reveal the jagged contours of the mountainside, out of the mists walk single-file the members of this doomed expedition, dotted like ants against the extraordinary grandeur of the surrounding landscape. If the dwarfs started small then these adventurers are at an even greater disadvantage: lost in an inhospitable world, they desperately try to gain control of a situation that was hopeless from the outset.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span></o:p>Their mission is to locate the city of El Dorado, rumored to be located in the heart of the Amazon jungle, and claim it in the name of the homeland. The expedition is led by Gonzolo Pizarro, who elects a small reconnaissance team to break from the large group and explore the regions surrounding the Amazon River. Don Pedro de Ursua is chosen to lead this auxiliary team, with Don Lope de Aguirre as his second-in-command. Ursua and Aguirre are instantly at odds, and Aguirre very quickly betrays his secret ambition to be the one in charge. When a third of their party gets stranded on a raft in a whirlpool in the middle of the river and murdered by natives in the night, Aguirre seizes his opportunity for power, successfully convincing the men of Ursua’s incompetence and thus turning them against him. His idea is to set out for El Dorado on his own, seducing his compatriots with promises of untold riches: they will secede from Pizarro’s group altogether and when they find El Dorado claim it for themselves, free from the bondage of their home crown.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><o:p> </o:p>Aguirre appoints a proxy through whom he commands with the reliable tactics of fear and intimidation. They draft a declaration of independence, signed by the hapless Don Fernando de Guzman, the titular new king of the future nation of El Dorado. Guzman weeps, but soon enjoys the benefits of his new post. Ursua is hanged, despite being granted clemency by Guzman when Aguirre orders his death, while Guzman himself only survives a few days longer after consuming most of the expedition’s food and abandoning their only horse (an alien beast in the wilds of the jungle and very valuable because it frightens the natives and as a last resort can be consumed when no other food rations remain); an offense that gets him assassinated. As their situation becomes increasingly dire, Aguirre pushes the crew on, driven by greed and lust for his daughter with whom he hopes to establish the purist of royal dynasties. Silent arrows fly from the thick of the surrounding jungle and pick off the men one by one. Most die or simply disappear, but Aguirre remains, steadfast in his madness and fevered dreams of a golden kingdom that is always just around the next bend of the great river.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><o:p> </o:p>It is impossible to discuss <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Aguirre</i> without mention of its star, the incomparable Klaus Kinski. This is the first of five collaborations between Herzog and the oft-rumored volatile actor, and arguably the best. Kinski has the uncanny ability to convey authority, menace and desperation in a single glance, all of the qualities that make Aguirre the compellingly deranged character that he is. When he speaks, it’s often softly as he stalks about his company like a snake that always seems ready to strike but never does. The power is all in Kinski’s eyes, his curious limp and the way he carries his deformed body so that one arm always seems slightly longer than the other. Despite the stories of his over-the-top character and legendary on-set rants, his performance here is surprisingly low-key. It’s Aguirre’s silence that makes him scary: he speaks and acts only when he needs to and when there’s nobody else around to do it for him. It was the poster art for this film that first drew me to it (still one of my all-time favorites) and the shot of Kinski’s face. Having never before heard of Herzog or Kinski the film was an incredible gateway into the extraordinary worlds they created together and their infamous working relationship that eventually became the subject of its own film (more on <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">My Best Fiend</i> will be discussed later in the essay).</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><o:p> </o:p>In Klaus Kinski Herzog found the perfect instrument for his stories about madmen set loose upon a world they try and recreate in their own images. If Kinski was by definition a method actor, then his method was megalomania. A perfect match. With Bruno S., the subject of his film <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Stroszek </i>(1977), Herzog plays in an entirely different key. Semi-autobiographical, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Stroszek</i> follows Bruno upon release from prison and chronicles his tortured attempt to reacclimate himself to society. The son of a prostitute who abused him as an infant, and in-and-out of various mental institutions for most of his youth, the real-life Bruno S. was a street musician in Berlin like his character in the film (he’s basically playing himself). Herzog first spotted him in a documentary about musicians and hired him to play the lead in another film called <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser</i> (1974), or as it’s alternately titled, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Every Man for Himself and God Against All. Stroszek</i>, written in just four days, was specifically tailored for Bruno.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><o:p> </o:p>It’s not essential to know the backstory of the film to understand and enjoy it. However, like most Herzog productions, the stories about their making are often just as fascinating as the films themselves, often blurring the line between fiction and reality; this has the inevitable effect of provoking the audience to question the validity of what they are seeing. Herzog is notorious for using this approach in his documentary work as well. Not content to simply distinguish between what is truth and fabrication, he constantly mixes the two to get at what he likes to call the “ecstatic truth” of a story, dismissing out of hand the mere “accountant’s truth” by way of banally recounting a list of facts about a person or situation. To continue the music metaphor, in Herzog’s hands the facts are used as notes that are often rearranged, modified or amplified to serve some greater philosophical purpose.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><o:p> </o:p>Most of the performers in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Stroszek</i> are non-actors, from Bruno’s ancient and frail old neighbor Clemens Scheitz to the pimp Wilhelm von Homburg, who torments him and his friends. The only seasoned performer in the mix is Eva Mattes, who plays Eva the prostitute. Eva and Bruno are friends, and she seeks refuge in his apartment from the seemingly daily beatings at the hands of the “Prince” of Homburg. Bruno spends his days busking in the streets and back-alleys of Berlin. Accompanied by an accordion and glockenspiel, he sings the story of his life. When the trouble later follows Eva home Herr Scheitz, Bruno and Eva decide that their situation is no longer safe and they must flee before one of them gets seriously hurt. Herr Scheitz has a nephew who lives in Wisconsin where they are invited to live. He owns a garage where he works as a mechanic. Scheitz convinces them that it’s a good idea: Bruno can work as his nephew’s helper and Eva can find a job as a waitress at a nearby truck stop. The great new world beckons them and they’re soon off to fulfill the promises of the dream life it offers.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><o:p> </o:p>In Wisconsin things barely go as planned. Eva finds a job as a waitress but hardly makes enough money to support the three of them. Bruno is hopeless as a mechanic and instantly falls into depression; away from his home and music and not able to communicate in the new language or express himself in any way he becomes sullen and more withdrawn. They very quickly fall behind on the monthly payments for the brand new 40-ft mobile home they purchase, and unable to understand or negotiate the terms of the mortgage it is soon repossessed by the bank and resold at an auction. Eva returns to prostitution, finding plenty of new business at the highway-side restaurant, and eventually hops a ride with some truckers to Vancouver.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><o:p> </o:p>Bruno, displaced and alone, doesn’t know what to do. His performance is haunting because it tragically conveys his worst fears about himself, society and his lack of place within it. Bruno is either out of step with the world, or the world is out of step with him. It doesn’t matter. He has his own interpretation, and when he holds up a small twisted sculpture to Eva and explains his inner torment by saying, “<span style="color:#222222">here you see a schematic model I have made of how it looks inside Bruno. They're closing all the doors on him, and oh, so, politely", it’s about as clear and precise a statement as anybody has made about what has happened. Herr Scheitz on the other hand suspects that there is a conspiracy against them and decides to act. Bruno goes along with it. What else can he do? With shotgun in hand they drive to the bank that has taken their home. When they find it closed they run into a neighboring barbershop and hold up the owner for a few bucks. Then they run into a food market across the street where Bruno buys a turkey with the stolen money. The police quickly seize upon the store and arrest Scheitz. Bruno, hidden in a different aisle, gets away</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); ">Bruno drives on. With no clear destination he winds up at a bizarre roadside American Indian-themed tourist park. He sets his truck ablaze and to driving in circles (just like the dwarfs did in the earlier film). Bruno hops onto a ski lift and rides it around and around, alone. The movie ends with an image of a dancing chicken, started by Bruno through a coin-activated machine that forces the chicken to hop in place because of a vibrating metal plate at the bottom of its cage. Supposedly the film’s crew was so repulsed by this contraption they refused to participate in shooting it. So Herzog had to film it alone (or so he claims) believing that the dancing chicken was a “grand metaphor” and the perfect image with which to end his film. A metaphor for what you might ask? He’s still not sure.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span style="color:#222222"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span style="color:#222222"><span style="mso-tab-count:8"> </span>To be continued…<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#222222"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#222222">-Chris </span><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#222222"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#222222"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#222222"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#222222"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i>Editor’s note: Every once in a while, it happens to all of us.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We’re sailing along through life, happily pointing out how people can be very rude, selfish and downright dickish when: BAM! We find ourselves acting like dicks.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Well, I’m pretty embarrassed to note that, in regard to this piece, I acted like a dick by continuously allowing it to fester on the backburner while its author, the very well-spoken and insightful Mr. Chris, waited patiently and silently for me to post it.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This is unfortunate for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that it is quite good.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I hope that our readers enjoy it as much as I did and that we will see some more of Chris’s writing in the future. <o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i>-Shannon</i><o:p></o:p></p><p></p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-55490259773392728522011-06-13T14:30:00.002-04:002011-06-13T14:39:43.056-04:00This Is Not A Review, Or why You Should Let Syrrah Stick Their Tongue In You<p class="MsoNormal">All too often, going to see a friend’s band play is an exercise in polite restraint if not outright deception.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>As anyone who has ever had a few musician friends can attest,<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>to be friends with someone in a band that is somewhat serious can often bring friendly support to a whole new level of trying.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It’s not that we don’t want our friends to succeed or to feel supported, but that the very process of growth for a rock band is one that often entails playing the same 5 to 10 songs over and over again, until they are finally correct and the band has mastered their timing, sound and image.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>To make matters worse, these shows are often held in places that are less than optimal in terms of acoustics and, often, involve travelling to out of the way bars and other forgotten venues.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Over the years, I have grown to actually hate seeing friends’ bands play.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This is not the case with Levitown, PA’s own Syrrah.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I first encountered Syrrah by way of a highly awkward and confusing first date with my current partner.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I had been aware that one of our mutual co-workers was in a band who played locally quite a bit, but was hesitant to see them for a number of reasons, not the least of which was my aforementioned hatred of having to politely lie to my friends about their musical aptitude and stage presence.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>However, as is often the case,<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>the fastest way to a young rock fan’s ear is through her libido and I committed to seeing Syrrah play at a center city Philly bar as a way to hang out with a potential love interest.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">When I first arrived at that early show, I was amused to find a mustachioed young man mingling in with the crowd in a pair of daisy dukes so short that they would make Jessica Simpson blush.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Little did I know that this was Righteous Jolly (his real name) of Syrrah and that the short shorts and waxed facial stylings were an earnest part of his personality as well as one of the keys to Syrrah’s larger than life stage presence.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This became striking apparent to me within a few seconds of Syrrah taking the stage as Jolly engaged in a series of theatrics which were both amusing and gratifying while the band delivered a relatively tight metal and prog infused sound which contrasted nicely with the half dozen neo-hardcore acts that also performed that night.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This was nearly two years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>So, why am I just now getting around to talking about it?<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Well, to begin with, the band has finally completed and released their very first CD, a seven song work which can be heard in part at <a href="http://www.reverbnation.com/syrrah">http://www.reverbnation.com/syrrah</a> and purchased directly through the band.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>While I suppose that this is the part where I am expected to review the CD itself, I’m not going to do that. Partially because I haven’t listened to it enough to have a lot to say about it, partly because it is good enough that my review would be less than interesting, and partly because I find reviews boring and, often, unconstructive.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Instead, I will tell you that, in the nearly two years since I first saw them, Syrrah has managed to take their theatrical slant and somewhat over the top sound to a new level of tightness which keeps them interesting and fresh even after nearly half a dozen witnessed performances, including a wonderfully nostalgic Halloween show complete with covers of Rocky Ericson’s catalogue. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In addition to continuously amusing me via their live shows (which is no small fete as, admittedly, I’m an asshole about live music), the band has created and maintained a sense of artistic community in an environment that is often not as conducive to collaboration as it is to competition.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">They have done so in a number of ways which, while mutually beneficial to all parties, are a rather rare thing. From allowing a local artist to draw along with their set, to holding fundraisers for local production companies, Syrrah are willing to put action behind the often heard lament that the Philly area does not foster support or community for new bands. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In addition to being willing to share their time with local artists and other bands, Syrrah can be seen in the delightfully funny Fugue Films web production “Gemini Rising”, playing a 70’s era rock band on the brink of both insanity and fame.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It is this sense of community, along with the aforementioned sense on theatrical presence and over the top style that makes Syrrah transcend tolerable local band status to being worth seeing over and over again. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">-Shannon <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Syrrah are: Matt Fischer, Righteous Jolly, Evan Scheerer and Brian Mazzarini.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-71045575823420095602011-05-17T00:23:00.002-04:002011-05-17T00:24:33.287-04:00How To Be A Dick: Show Edition<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.25in;text-align:justify"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height: 115%;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"">One of my favorite leisure activities is attending rock shows.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I, along with thousands of like-minded individuals, will attend almost any show if the chance presents itself to me.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>As such, I have been to hundreds of shows in my lifetime.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This expertise has allowed me to compile a comprehensive list of ways in which you can elevate yourself from an average show goer to a total dick.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Enjoy.<o:p></o:p></span></i></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-align:justify;text-indent:-.25in; mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:115%;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman""><span style="mso-list:Ignore">1.<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"">This is the first and easiest step to complete as it can be accomplished before the show begins.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In fact, you don’t even need a ticket to pull it off.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Since most concerts are held in metropolitan areas, there is a good chance that the one you attending will be in an area that is both residential and full of businesses.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Before you go to your show, you can score major points by treating the surrounding neighborhood as though it is a dump/toilet/frat house/whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Once you park your car, be certain to yell as loudly as possible.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Drink some beers and leave the empties anywhere you please, after all, you don’t have to clean it up so why should you care?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>If you’re white and middle class, be certain to complain loudly about poor people and minorities while you make your way to the venue.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>If you encounter a homeless person, get major bonus points for taunting them with the fact that you are unwilling to give to them.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Claim that you are poor too, completely ignoring the fact that you’ve already spent at least $50 just to get into the door of the event. (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">This step can also be completed or even repeated after you’ve left the event.)</i><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align:justify"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif""><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align:justify;text-indent:-.25in; mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:115%;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman""><span style="mso-list:Ignore">2.<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"">As you wait in line to enter the venue, continue editorializing about the state of the location.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Loudly bemoan the fact that you had to walk on a dirty sidewalk, near homeless people, to get there.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Complain about the trash and debris littering the area, as though you had nothing at all to do with it.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>As you get closer to the doors, and the inevitable security check, make loud jokes about rent-a-cops and pretend that you are concealing weapons/bombs/roofies. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Threaten to sue the security guard for frisking you as you snidely look down your nose at him or her for daring to fulfill their duties.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>If you’re attempting to smuggle in some sort of illicit substance and get caught, yell at them for violating your rights until they are forced to call the police and have you arrested.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Not only will you succeed in being a huge dick, but you will also provide endless amusement for those in line behind you, as well as a welcome distraction for local police.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align:justify"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif""><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align:justify;text-indent:-.25in; mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:115%;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman""><span style="mso-list:Ignore">3.<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"">Once you get into the venue, try to gain entry to the designated 21 + areas without showing ID.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It doesn’t matter if you’re actually of age, just refuse to show your license.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Shout “But I’m twenty-twoooooooooooooooooooooo” at the security guard with the hand stamp as a means of showing your maturity.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>When this doesn’t work, groan loudly and make huge show out of retrieving your wallet.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Extract your ID from said wallet with the most exaggerated motions possible before shoving it so close to the checker’s face that they couldn’t possible see it.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Then get angry when you’re asked to move it.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Once you’ve proven your legal right to be a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">drunk </i>dick, proceed slowly into the desired bar area while complaining about the hassle of having to prove your age.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>There will probably be quite a line for drinks at this point, so just shove those assholes out of your way until you’re belly up to the bar.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Once there, wave your arms frantically until the bartender notices you.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Once they come over, ask them the prices of every possible drink combo on the planet.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Ignore the clearly printed price list in front of you.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Finally, once they have repeated every price, order the first thing you asked about.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align:justify"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif""><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align:justify;text-indent:-.25in; mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:115%;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman""><span style="mso-list:Ignore">4.<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"">Once the bands begin to play, the real fun begins.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This step is not for beginners, as it requires a real commitment.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Once the music starts, regardless of how heavy or mellow, how fast or slow, start flailing around like you’re an epileptic on speed.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Alternate between swinging your arms wildly from side to side and rapidly fist pumping to the beat.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Try to start a mosh pit wherever you are by pulling and pushing others into you. If someone gets hurt, you’re doing it right.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Respond to any and all protests by declaring that those complaining are total pussies.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Alternately, if you’re in the back of the venue, you can attempt to push those in front of you closer to the stage as though you are trying to compress them.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Basically, at this point, the rest of the crowd is your enemy and you must defeat them at any cost in order to reach the foot of the stage.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Bonus points for crowd surfing.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Remember, nothing expresses love for the band like forcing their other fans to choose between holding your hulking frame aloft and taking a size 13 Doc Martin to the face!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align:justify"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif""><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-align:justify;text-indent:-.25in; mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:115%;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman""><span style="mso-list:Ignore">5.<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"">Believe it or not, the post show time frame is just as important as all of the others.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Here, you can really shine.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Once each band finishes playing, you should loudly begin complaining about how the band(s) didn’t perform as well as they have the 10,000 other times you’ve seen them.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Start declaring that this venue was far too large and you’ve seen them in tiny corner bars, small local clubs, your best friend’s bar mitzvah, whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The point is that the band sucked tonight and you, the super fan, have seen them perform much, much better.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>As you’re doing this, loiter until you’re just about the last person there.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>When the security staff inevitably asks you to leave, yell at them some more about their fascist techniques and lack of understanding about how you pay their salary.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Continue doing this as they toss you out on your ass.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Don’t forget to repeat step 1 for extra points. <o:p></o:p></span></p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-80566386808125172642011-05-11T19:01:00.000-04:002011-05-13T16:45:23.445-04:00Record Jacket: 25 Favorite Album Covers (20-16)<div style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span">20. Deftones – Deftones</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjARjYK4SI1HUfgGG2gZ3bIKLyI7-nzCPOP2ESSE3aGo4dDTxXR-EKg9tHIdZVlvuPH0ZmV-3zRly5XOScWW8xzM-ye2AWeLivIZRhWOSaELN4x_DaRCfOIO_bn_uUe-EXvAzk-J4C93TU/s320/Deftones.jpeg" /></div><p align="center" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-align:center"><o:p></o:p></p> <p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-align:justify; text-justify:inter-ideograph">Traditionally roses have symbolized beauty and love, while, skulls, have signified death and mortality. The cover seems to hint at the beauty of death, or even the idea that the beauty in life lies in the love and acceptance of the fact that it will one day end. The Image is more comforting then disturbing. It calls to mind the appreciation for the dead that we might encounter with the vibrant colors seen in Day of the Dead Imagery. Provoking in us the naturalist, and far from fatalist ideal that, death, is part of the life cycle, and should not be feared.<o:p></o:p></p><p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-align:justify; text-justify:inter-ideograph"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span">19. Songs About Fucking – Big Black</span></b></p> <p align="center" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-align:center"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimKrJ4zWWy_0YPjMj0yadjKLBeUxjgiQBkbNGuGHlRBn9L5DCdXTY269BzavYPmCP1K_51F7uPJTxofddJ_5wKSgIb-Tj0gBw801Xu-pr7efNlRmumxIwzySDCOsfmIWdjT_aXSh4fQwI/s320/Big+Black.jpg" border="0" alt="" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 300px; " /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"">The last hurrah of Big Black, and only one of the many incarnations of musical genius Steve Albini, makes <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Songs about Fucking</i> a classic noise-punk album, with a classic cover. When it was released the album's title was commonly blanked out. The cover featured the head of animated character sweating during sex, followed by a brutish white hair middle age man, finishing with some good old doggy style on the back cover. These images encapsulate the relentlessness of a great, no holds barred band.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>As CD Times Eamonn McCusker once wrote, "as brutal as that cover is, the music is even more so". I Couldn’t have said it better myself.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif""><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal; "></span></span></p><p align="center" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center; "><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif""><b><span class="Apple-style-span">18. The Power to Believe – King Crimson</span></b></span></p><p></p> <p align="center" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-align:center"><img src="http://www.ferhiga.com/progre/portadas/kc-power-to-believe.jpg" /></p><p align="center" style="text-align: justify;margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; ">Now I know that most people would probably pick In the Court of The Crimson King, but I'm not most people. As iconic as album cover get, I don't think it captures the same power, as the images from, The Power to Believe. The painting on the cover was painted by P.J Cook, an artistic masterpiece called Fin de siècle, which means "End of the Century". The album was released during the early stages of our current "War on Terror" and with it dark ambiance, c the coupled with sporadic addition of more uplifting moments in tracks like "Eyes Wide Open", it allows the album cover to capture the spirit of the album and the intentions of Cook's painting. Before the image was used on the album, Cook wrote this about her painting," The infant here is not only making reference to the infant Christ but also symbolic of the new century and the world which is under constant threat. Not only the threat of war and famine but also degradation by pollution and overindulgence,... and the disregard for our natural resources, wildlife and our fellow Man. "</p><p align="center" style="text-align: justify;margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; "><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-align:justify; text-justify:inter-ideograph"><o:p></o:p></p><p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-align:justify; text-justify:inter-ideograph"></p><p align="center" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span">17. By All Means Necessary – Boogie Down Productions<o:p></o:p></span></b></p><p></p><p align="center" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-align:center"><img src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41B2F7KNPQL._SL500_AA300_.jpg" /></p><p align="center" style="text-align: justify;margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; ">A powerful album brought to you by the self-proclaimed "teacher", KRS-One. During a time in black culture when crack, Aids and violence where plaguing the inner cities across America, KRS-One does everything he can to inform African Americans across the nation of the entirety of their struggle, in an attempt to prevent his culture from destroying its self. The Album cover attempt to recall the, now famous, photo of Malcolm X, and the punctuating word of a pivotal speech, which was given by Malcolm X before he was brutally murdered,</p><p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-align:justify; text-justify:inter-ideograph"><o:p></o:p></p> <p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-align:justify; text-justify:inter-ideograph">" We declare our right on this earth to be a man, to be a human being, to be respected as a human being, to be given the rights of a human being in this society, on this earth, in this day, which we intend to bring into existence by any means necessary."<o:p></o:p></p> <p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-align:justify; text-justify:inter-ideograph">Many of you may remember that Nelson Mandela recited this at the end of Spike Lee's Masterpiece Malcolm X, but refused to say the last line, "by any means necessary" on camera, fearing that the apartheid would use it against him if he did. <o:p></o:p></p><p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-align:justify; text-justify:inter-ideograph"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span">16. Daydream Nation – Sonic Youth</span></b></p> <p align="center" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-align:center"><img src="http://c438342.r42.cf2.rackcdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Daydream-Nation.jpg" /></p><div style="text-align: justify;">This Magnum Opus comes from, arguably, one of the most influential bands of the 80's underground, Sonic Youth. The aptly titled "Daydream Nation" features a painting entitled Kerze ,or “Candle”,<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>by German Photorealist Gerhard Richter, and a similar painting entitled Zwei Kerzen , or Two Candles, that is featured on the back. The LP's 4 sides and the CD itself featured four symbols on the disc, said to represent the four members of the band. The symbols featured are an infinity symbol, a female sign, an upper case omega, and a drawing of a demon/angel holding drumsticks. The flame of the candle lies just beneath the word "Nation" in the title, which almost ,inadvertently, symbolizes the rude awakening America has faced then, in 1988, and now while the world crumbles just slow enough to not disturb this zombified nation. And if the world is slowly ending, at least this classic has a chance to be preserved in the ruble of the Library of Congress, since it was added to the National Recording Registry.</div><p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-align:justify; text-justify:inter-ideograph"><o:p></o:p></p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-3228756905949383532011-03-30T14:36:00.001-04:002011-03-31T00:32:37.365-04:00Libya: Arm'em then Bomb'em!!!<p class="Standard" style="text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph">In the area of the world that the Bush administration and the G8 have labeled the “Greater Middle East” civil unrest has grown uncontrollable, at least in the eyes of many absolute monarchies<span style="color:black"> and military dictatorships that litter the landscape. The </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"georgia\, serif";color:black">unprecedented</span><span style="color:black"> chaos which has arisen out of a g</span>rowing strife in 21 countries in a 4,800 mile region; which is home to over 425 million people. It is not only interesting, but also disheartening, that our government and mainstream media have deliberately chosen to focus on Libya. It is also frustrating that the humanitarian focus on regions like Libya, and to an even greater extent with the tragedies in Japan, has been downplayed, while fear mongering is in full effect. As usual, in traditional American journalistic fashion, our paltry pundits refuse to ask genuinely pressing questions, and have elected to rephrase political talking points spewed from the President's administration, and which have been passed off as “real” journalism.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>The same talking points that were used to sell the American public on not one, but two interminable wars in the middle east, which to their own credit haven't even been resolved yet, are not <span style="color:black">only frightening but reek of<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>the globalist agendas of “stability” and “strategic interest”.</span> Pundits and politicians talk about the threat <span style="color:black">Muammar <span>Gaddafi<i> is</i></span></span> to his own people and his excessive use of force. But this discussion shouldn't be about what Gaddafi <i>has</i> done, but rather <i>how</i> he has done it. No one has made a case for the excessive force that Gaddafi has used, except for maybe Saudi Arabia, in the form of reflective action. Saudi Arabia, much like Libyan dictator <span style="color:black">Muammar <span>Gaddafi<i>,</i></span></span> has used excessive forces and bribes not only to control their marginalized and angered masses, but have sent troops to countries like Bahrain and neighboring Yemen to help quell protests there as well.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph"><span style="color:black"><br /><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>President Obama said in his speech, “</span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); ">Some nations may be able to turn a blind eye to atrocities in other countries. </span><span style="color: black; "><i>The United States of America is different.” </i>In what way are we different? Our country, and its leaders, have been known in the past to focus on removing dictators of certain countries that have resources that we covet, while turning a blind eye to other humanitarian atrocities. Of course<span> </span></span><span style="color:black">Obama also fails to address the fact that his administration approved </span><a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1365523/Obama-administration-approved-40billion-private-arms-sales-countries-including-Libya-Egypt.html?ito=feeds-newsxml"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span style="text-decoration: none; ">40 billion dollars in </span><span style="text-decoration: none; ">weapons sales</span></span></a><span style="color:black"> to countries including Egypt, Bahrain and Lybia over the last two years, which have led to the cries of foul play when tear gas canisters in Egypt were labeled “made in the USA”.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Almost all of the equipment approved in 2009 was aircraft parts and, in 2008, $1 million was approved for explosives and incendiary agents which the State Department claimed were used “In oil exploration”. To make matters even worse some of the main contributors to the<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>European Union, specifically Germany, United Kingdom, Paris and Italy, which makes up a majority of the NATO military coalition, have supplied €834.5 million (roughly 1.5 Billion US dollar), in </span><span style="color:windowtext;text-decoration:none;text-underline:none"><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/2011/mar/01/eu-arms-exports-libya#data">arms to Libya</a></span> over the last 5 years<span style="color:black">.</span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph"><span style="color:black"><br /><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>So maybe the question that should have been asked isn't “Is Gaddafi dangerous and should he be removed?” but “Why, and how has Gaddafi attained the means of his absolute political and military power, and how can we prevent monetary contributions to these fiascoes in the future?” If this country is really the beacon of peace that political talking heads, specifically presidents past and present,<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>claim it to be, then why do we always find that we've substantially contributed, at least monetarily, to the tools of oppression that are utilized by the very dictators that we<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>then turn around and condemn, while we turn their countries into rubble? It's as if our leaders sell these weapons with little or no discretion, while allowing our military to be reduced to nothing more than some kind of demolition subcontractor for contractors, like Halliburton, looking to capitalize on any skirmish in the “Greater Middle East”.</span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph"><span style="color:black"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph"><span style="color:black"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>In the speech he gave Monday night about Libya, President Obama stated that, “For generations, the United States of America has played a unique role as an anchor of global security and as an advocate for human freedom.” I have to admit that I snickered a little after I heard that as I said under my breath, “well... “Unique” is one way to put it,” especially if you’re an idealist high on your own bullshit. Realistically are role has drifted further from “an anchor of global security”or “an advocate for human freedom” and become more of a global enabler and prime offender of ubiquitous and violent fiascoes, which ooze uncontrollably with lies and hypocrisy. Rhetoric like this is nothing more than a reaffirmation of American imperialism, which more times than not is unjustified, and becomes more fruitless with each passing decade. As Obama rattles off an endless stream of talking points about a “strong and growing coalition”, which seems hell bent on doing anything to get their economies out of a rut, everything the president says becomes increasingly disingenuous. He also mentioned the “historic resolution”, which not only creates a no-fly zone, but also a no-drive zone that may be a precursor to ground troops in Libya. That being said, it should be no surprise that the same day Obama was getting ready to defend, not a war, but a “</span><a href="http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0311/51893.html"><span style="color:#280099;text-decoration:none;text-underline:none">kinetic </span><em><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:#280099;text-decoration:none; text-underline:none">military </span></em><span style="color:#280099;text-decoration:none;text-underline:none">action</span></a><span style="color:black"><a href="http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0311/51893.html">”</a>, Libyan rebels announced their intentions to begin </span><span style="color:windowtext;text-decoration:none;text-underline:none"><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/29/business/global/29oil.html?_r=1&partner=rss&emc=rss">trading oil</a></span><span style="color:black"> for the first time in a month.</span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph"><span style="color:black"><br /><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>Once again another question, which is one that should probably be asked, though it might never be answered are about Gaddafi's opposition, who have merely been referred to by the media as “Rebels”. For instance, who are the rebel forces and what are they going to do with the money? Let us not forget about all of our past nation building attempts where the rebels minorities eventually became the oppressive majority. All you have to do is look at the Taliban, <em><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma">Al</span></em>-<em><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">Qaeda</span></em>, Iraq and Cuba to see how our willingness to fund the opposition to a sworn enemy always seems to create new enemies in the long run. These “seeds of democracy” that we've been planting since World War II, and more frequently since the advent of the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, have a history of producing more rotten apples. Which leads me to my final question...when is it going to end?</span><o:p></o:p></p><p class="Standard" style="text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph"><span style="color:black"><br /></span></p><p class="Standard" style="text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph"><span style="color:black">-The Dead Guy</span></p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-11052452860667234022011-02-07T19:21:00.015-05:002011-02-08T10:49:14.067-05:00Record Jacket: 25 Favorite Album Covers (25-21)<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:100%;">As a self proclaimed discophile album artwork has always intrigued me since I first started listening to music. The first albums I ever owned had some of the most iconic covers ever seen, like Iron Maiden's Killers and Van Halen's 1984. They were on Compact Disc, since it was the mid 90's and people had stopped listening to vinyl record once they're tune table belt snapped. My dad still had a stack in his old stereo entertainment center, just minus the record player and stereo system... sigh. Eventually, I began to realize that someone had to design these album covers, and I was eager to find out everything I could about the fine artists and photographers who created these iconic images, and the graphic designers that layout the final product. I never judged an album by it cover, but was always interested to see how the sound of the music tied into the images that I held in my hand as I gave my ear drums a stimulating workout. After earning an A.A. In</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> graphic design </span><span style="font-size:100%;">and printing T-shirts for some of my friends bands at my scr</span><span style="font-size:100%;">een printing job, my love and appreciation for ALL of the artists that con</span><span style="font-size:100%;">tribute to these sonic masterpieces, and the entire art experience that comes with them, has only grown. So with the free time I had I thought I would compile a list of the 25 album covers that have continuously fascinated me since I first started listen to music. So sit back, relax and enjoy the first</span> installment of The Dead Guy's 25 favorite album covers.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;">25. </span><span style="font-size:130%;">Toxicity – System of a Down</span></div></div><p><span style="font-size:78%;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.albumoftheyear.org/album/covers/toxicity.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 250px;" src="http://www.albumoftheyear.org/album/covers/toxicity.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size:78%;"> </span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Besides being probably the angriest, and most powerful anti-war albums in the last decade, which, ironically, was released a week before the events of September. 11<sup>th</sup>, <span style=""> </span>it is also the only System of a Down album, not to feature the Parental Advisory label, even with the use of minor profanities. It has a particularity iconoclastic album cover, one which suggests at our blur between unreality and reality, which exist in our entertainment and news. This happens in some of the worst places, in this case it's Hollywood. With the words “System of a Down” replacing the traditional “Hollywood” in the Hollywood Hills, and the word “Toxicity” in sprayed in blood red across the bottom of the hill, you'd have to be a fool to think this m</span><span style="font-size:100%;">ight be mellow bong ripping album.</span></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /></span></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;">24. They Only Come Out at Night – Edgar Winter Group</span></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeJdRQNsA312RDFalv7cFh2yMQvQdX2WVXI82QBfkfJYb6q7W0TQzfsdwFQdvKVttmBie0jiWbs-EAuDSsXpsPYU-54ePoM4D9-8ZoXHR9xZH0My7Bk36hiSKPIkAiovdvIlyOzKgkkS5g/s1600/48e751c88da02d7b4e45d110_L.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 250px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeJdRQNsA312RDFalv7cFh2yMQvQdX2WVXI82QBfkfJYb6q7W0TQzfsdwFQdvKVttmBie0jiWbs-EAuDSsXpsPYU-54ePoM4D9-8ZoXHR9xZH0My7Bk36hiSKPIkAiovdvIlyOzKgkkS5g/s1600/48e751c88da02d7b4e45d110_L.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:100%;">This album, which was released in 1972, features Edgar Winter himself wearing lipstick, eye makeup, and a cheek stud on the cover. Unlike glam rockers like David Bowie, Winter’s facade has been altered with the addition of mutton chops and lacks those boyish good looks made famous by David Bowie, which makes for a much more interesting assault on the American public. There is just something about a man, like Edgar Winter, in drag that is deeply disturbing</span><span style="font-size:100%;">, unattractive and highly intriguing. This album cover epitomizes the glam rock scene that would help blur those pesky gender lines and stereo types that are just plain silly.</span></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /></span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;">23.Nothing Shocking – Jane's Ad</span><span style="font-size:130%;">diction</span></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.kazaa.com/images/08/603497944408/Janes_Addiction/Nothings_Shocking/Janes_Addiction-Nothings_Shocking_3.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 250px;" src="http://image.kazaa.com/images/08/603497944408/Janes_Addiction/Nothings_Shocking/Janes_Addiction-Nothings_Shocking_3.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Perry Farrell created the cover image for Nothing's Shocking. Farrell s</span><span style="font-size:100%;">aid the image, like much of his artwork, came to him in a dream. Farrell had hired Warner Brother employees to create the cover sculpture, but after learning how to create sculptures by watching them closely, he fired the Warner Brothers staff and created the artwork himself. Farrell hired someone to help create a full body casting of his girlfriend for use as the sculptures. Retailers and PRMC talking heads like Tipper Gore objected to the album's cover, which 9 out of the 11 leading record store chains refused to carry, since and the record had to be issued covered with a brown paper bag. The brashness and beauty speak for its self, the surreal images of naked conjoined twins with their heads on fire, let's you know right away that you should be prepared for a face melting wall of sound.</span></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /></span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;">22. What Am I Doing in </span><span style="font-size:130%;">New J</span><span style="font-size:130%;">ersey? - George Car</span><span style="font-size:130%;">lin</span></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/517ED3DkUJL._SS500_.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 250px;" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/517ED3DkUJL._SS500_.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></span></span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:100%;">This is one of my favorite albums for two reasons. First, my fa</span><span style="font-size:100%;">mily is from New Jersey, and I hate it just as much as Carlin. Secondly, it's one of the first album where Carlin treads into the topic of current politics. Carlin opening line sums up the political climate of the 80's with, "I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took the group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration." The Album cover captures the price of industrialization in the most over industrialized states in the union, New Jersey. Standing in one of the many industrial parks that litter the great “Garden State” or as Carlin so eloquently puts it, “The Garden State? Sure, if you're growing smoke stacks!, This album captures America at the beginning of its decline into bad health and stupidity. The Cover captures everything that people around the world have hated about this country, and it's people since then. Who knew a single image could capture the disparity of “Reaganomics” and the trickledown theory, and the demise of the American Dream. It is also one of the few albums covers that features the World Trade Center, how apropos!</span></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;">21. Given to the Rising - Neurosis</span><br /><p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3124/2672775462_1cb355a1c6_o.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 250px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3124/2672775462_1cb355a1c6_o.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p></div><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:100%;">When it comes to iconic imagery look no further then Oaklands very own Neurosis, and their last record Given to the Rising. The simplicity of the overall layout in overshadowed by the very powerful image of a horse with antler armor. The horse in one of many statues in the famous Hosök tere, or Hero's Square. The Horse of Hero Square is symbolic of the sound of this album, and in general, the raw power of the very influential Neurosis. </span><br /><br />-The Dead Guy<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> </p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-54596346048362234062010-12-27T20:10:00.004-05:002010-12-27T21:15:21.101-05:00Distortion of Divinity: Avoiding the Game, and Attaining Spiritual Acquiescence<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> 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Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">For quite some time now I've been contemplating this religious shit flinging that has taken place recently in the form of book burning. It always nice to see that the pious, monotheistic religions of the west have not allowed the purely materialist act of book burning go out of style. These people have obviously taken their eye off the ball when it comes to the spiritual well-being of the planet and its inhabitants. Religion can, in fact, be very beneficial to a society when utilized properly. The problem with institutionalized religion is the idea that the dogmas set forth by religious authorities, are not in any way shape or form, perversions of the doctrine, and that the doctrine being interpreted is divinely inspired, and thus an infallible guide to living life. Alan Watts was once asked by a radio announcer, "Don’t you think that if there is a truly loving God, He would given us a plain and specific guide as to how to live our lives?” he knew that the man was referring to the Bible and replied, “On the contrary, I think a truly loving God would not stultify our minds. He would encourage us to think for ourselves."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><a name="firstHeading"></a>Although it may be true that many of these writings contain some form of the teachings of Moses, Jesus or Mohamed, it is irresponsible to assume that the pen-holders did not inject some of their personal beliefs into the mouths of these men, or that some statements may have been distorted unintentional and lost in translation. All religious text from the Qur'an to the Bible and even eastern text, such as Hindu Bhagavad Gita or Buddhist Bardo Thodol (Book of the Dead), contain teaching that can help guide some to a more spiritually loving path. I find it really disheartening when individuals use the dogma of interpreters, such as St. Augustine, to condemn people as unfaithful sinners. All of these ideologies that have been handed down to us are rarely question. I would consider this a failure of moral courage, and a transgression on the human soul. I doubt Jesus would waste his time concerning himself with things such as “Original Sin” or the idea that accepting him as the son of God was the only path toward salvation. Many people consider me odd and eccentric, but I think my idea of of who Jesus was is closer to the true nature of Christ and his message to humanity, dogma and doctrine aside. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><a name="search"></a><a name="main"></a>First, it is important to point out that many people are labeled non-believers by the so called “Faithful”, when they question the dogma erected in the name of Jesus Christ or any other religious figure, or what many consider to be messengers of God, or what I think is more appropriate “couriers of the Universe”. One thing that people seem to forget is that Jesus was quite the questioner himself. Many seem to forget that he spent a lot of time questioning Judaism, which is most apparent in narratives like the The Money Changers, where Jesus quotes from the Torah by exclaiming, "The Scriptures declare, 'My Temple will be called a house of prayer,' but you have turned it into a den of thieves!”.(Isaiah 56:7, <em><span style="font-style: normal;">Jeremiah 7:11</span></em>) This seems to be a staple in the teaching of Jesus, which is the fundamental idea that materialism has no place in a temple, intended solely for communion with God. If anything it is the materialism that distracts us from uniting with the divine. Therefore, by allowing materialism into the temple, in the form of the merchants and money changers, a place where people went to commune with god, the leaders of the temple were undermining the basic spiritual function of the temple.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">It is interesting to point out that the spiritual teaching inherited from many of the spiritual leader's that have presented themselves in the history of mankind, have epitomized similar spiritual tenets. From Jesus and Socrates, to Buddha and Gandhi they have all had similar underlying ideals. All of which, with the exception of Buddha, were killed subsequently. The disparity in this trend was pointed out by Bill Hicks when he said, “It's just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok … Jesus - murdered; Martin Luther King - murdered; Malcolm X - murdered; Gandhi - murdered; John Lennon - murdered; Reagan... wounded.” It seems that the western mind has a tendency to over value life, and fear death even though they are one in the same. There is a grace in these “preachers of peace” deaths who, as some would say, had a lot more to give, but I guess the universe thought differently.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I think the most profound teaching, that a person like Jesus had to offer humanity, was in his death, but not in the traditional way that we have been lead to believe. I think Jesus demonstrated his philosophy of anti materialism most profoundly in his self sacrifice. I don't see Jesus' death as a provocation of the sacrifice that Jewish prophecy predicted, or the idea perpetuated by an institution like the Catholic Church, that Jesus was dying for the world sins. Our body is what connects us to the material world and, as Gnostics believed, was the final obstacle in the way of our inevitable reunion with god, or more precisely the universe. It as if Jesus wanted us to know that we should never fear death, or we may forget to live.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I think the attempt of preserving the material body, as observed in the funerary processes of traditional Judaism and Christianity are a bit morbid and far from practical. It is an attempt to persevere a vessel, a mere shell of a person, in attempt to preserve the essence of that person, even though the essence goes much deeper then the skin and the body, and leaves after we die. Our body is animated by the energy, which may radiate from our soul, or true self, which many refer to as the “Spirit” or essence of a being. There is really no need to preserve the entirety of an empty vessel, unless you are materialistic. Furthermore, the amount of money spent on these frivolous ceremonies is just another aspect of this misguided materialism. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">On the other hand, when compared to the funerary practices of eastern religions, which may be seen as morbid to the western mind, is far more practical and much more captivating. Of the many forms of eastern burials I find the sky burial most intriguing. This is a practice in Tibet wherein a human corpse is cut in specific locations and placed on a mountaintop, exposing it to the elements or the mahabhuta and animals, especially to birds of prey. A sky burial, or <i>Jhator</i>, is considered an act of generosity on the part of the deceased, since the deceased and surviving relatives are providing food to sustain living beings. Generosity and compassion for all beings are important virtues or <i>paramita</i> in Buddhism. I hope that one day my remains can be disposed of in this fashion, as George Carlin once said, "If we're going to recycle, let's get serious!" </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Materialism, in a nut shell, is a very narrow and bleak philosophy for simple minded people. It over values the external world, and neglects the internal world, or at least fails to unite body, mind and spirit in a more psychologically healthy union. Much like the great spiritual teachers before me, I view the material world as a world of illusion; inherit with the spiritual trappings of mankind. As Nikos Kasantzakis stated so eloquently in the Epilogue for <i>The Last Temptation of Christ</i>:</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">“<i>Within me are the dark immemorial forces of the Evil One, human and pre- human; within me too are the luminous forces, human and pre-human, of God— and my soul is the arena where these two armies have clashed and met. </i></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><i>The anguish has been intense. I loved my body and did not want it to perish; I loved my soul and did not want it to decay. I have fought to reconcile these two primordial forces which are so contrary to each other, to make them realize that they are not enemies but, rather, fellow workers, so that they might rejoice in their harmony, and so that I might rejoice with them.”</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">-The Dead Guy<br /></p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-42567978465365939542010-12-23T16:03:00.003-05:002010-12-23T16:10:50.582-05:00How To Be a Dick: Holiday Edition<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> 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</w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="">Ah, it’s that time of year again! Lights have been hung, menorahs have been lit, shoppers have been trampled and children everywhere have been traumatized by being thrust into a fat stranger’s lap.<span style=""> </span>What better time is there to exercise your inalienable right to be an entitled, oversensitive, undeniable dickhead?<span style=""> </span>It’s you right, no, it’s your <b style="">job </b>to make this time of year as stressful as possible for everyone around you.<span style=""> </span>To ensure maximum impact, you should follow the five simple steps bellow!</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="">Enjoy.</i></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">1.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Wait until 8pm on the night before the holiday to begin to do your shopping.<span style=""> </span>This will ensure that you can maximize your opportunity to be a total dick and offend the absolute greatest amount of people. Go out without a plan and expecting to be able to find every item you want in the exact color, size and design that you desire.<span style=""> </span>Expect and demand that hottest toy, the one which has been virtually sold out since October, be readily available to you at a moment’s notice and in a perfect box.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">2.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Be nasty when in public.<span style=""> </span>Walk through the mall, the bank, the grocery store and anywhere else you can run into a variety of people and act as though you are walking through a veritable miasma.<span style=""> </span>This is your holiday of choice and these people are in your way, invading your personal space and generally making you wait an extra 2.5 minutes to get to the item <i style="">you </i>are entitled to purchase.<span style=""> </span>Sneer at everyone who dares to smile at you.<span style=""> </span>Bonus points if you can direct your shit smelling ire at a child under 5.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">3.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Once in line, stare angrily at the person in front of you.<span style=""> </span>How dare they get there first?<span style=""> </span>Don’t they know that you are on a very important errand and need to purchase your tickle me whatever first?<span style=""> </span>Sigh loudly. Shift your weight and look at your watch repeatedly and in an exaggerated manner.<span style=""> </span>If the line moves and they don’t, clear your throat and aggressively inch forward.<span style=""> </span>Make that asshole in front of you know that they have absolutely ruined your day, your holiday, your children’s holiday and your great grandma’s holiday. </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">4.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>In the parking lot, drive the wrong way down the aisle, looking for a close spot.<span style=""> </span>When you don’t find one that is vacant, begin scouting for people who may be loading up.<span style=""> </span>Find the person with the greatest amount of packages and pull right up to their car.<span style=""> </span>Once they begin loading up, it’s time to let them know that they are not doing it quickly enough.<span style=""> </span>Lean on your horn, shout obscenities at them, shake your fist angrily and throw a tantrum until they are ready to pull out.<span style=""> </span>Leave them just barely enough room to do so safely.<span style=""> </span>As they are pulling away, give them the middle finger.<span style=""> </span>Bonus points if you can do this with a family with children or someone who is elderly or infirm.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">5.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Once you get to the cashier and present your items to him or him, point out every single packaging flaw and demand a discount.<span style=""> </span>How dare they not have the forethought to package these items in something that will operate like titanium in the store yet melt like butter when opened?<span style=""> </span>If you have found something you want to purchase but not in the correct size or color, give the cashier hell.<span style=""> </span>They should have known you were coming and help the item for you.<span style=""> </span>Everyone knows that people who work retail are nothing but slaves to your whims!<span style=""> </span>Once you are finished haranguing them about the lack of selection, the lack of colors and the general atmosphere in the store, demand that they gift wrap your items for free, place each of them into their own separate bag and magically teleport them to your car.<span style=""> </span>If they acquiesce to your demands, make sure you let them know that they are not doing it quickly enough!</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast"><i style="">BONUS ROUND:<span style=""> </span></i>After you have paid for your items and ensured that they are all suitably perfect, the cashier or another store employee may offer you some sort of seasonal well wishes.<span style=""> </span>If they wish you a happy or merry specific holiday, become ridiculously offended that they have chosen a holiday which you do not celebrate.<span style=""> </span>Let them know that they are racist and just as bad as Hitler, Stalin and the Heat Miser combined.<span style=""> </span>Demand to see a manager.<span style=""> </span>Yell at them and then go home to write a nasty letter to the local paper about how offended you are.<span style=""> </span>Alternately, if they wish you happy holidays and you happen to be Christian, freak the hell out on them.<span style=""> </span>How dare they engage in the war on Christmas?<span style=""> </span>Don’t they know that without your god being born they would not have jobs?<span style=""> </span>They are trying to rob you of your right to celebrate an imaginary birth!<span style=""> </span>Remind them of the reason for the season and demand to see their manager.<span style=""> </span>Give him or her holy hell (no pun intended) and then rush home to write angry letters to the local papers, Bill O’Reily and the Pope.<span style=""> </span>Waste no time!<span style=""> </span>This is <i style="">war</i>!</p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast"><br /></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast">-<span style="font-style: italic;">Shannon (Who wants to remind you that the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear)</span><br /></p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-63887863168577048322010-12-15T20:49:00.004-05:002010-12-19T20:12:29.066-05:00Jukebox Hero: Special Holiday Edition; The Bootlicker:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.everythingathon.com/melvins-bootlicker-900.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 400px;" 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Those of us that have worked in retail or a restaurant quickly discover on Black Friday that this is going to be a long month, with an even worse soundtrack. If you're like me, you may wander the mall thinking, “why does the sound of Christmas music and the obsessive devotion to economic materialism always make me wish for a nuclear holocaust.” or, “Am I crazy or am I floating in a sea of the oblivious.” and then sooner or later, “I’ve<span style=""> </span>got to get the fuck out of here!!” <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Well there's no need to fear ‘cause the Dead Guy is here, and man do I have the solution to your lack of good tunes this holiday season, The Melvins'<i> Bootlicker </i>(1999). Nothing makes me enjoy the holiday season, much like this masterpiece. It is the second installment in a trilogy, which includes The Maggot (1999) and The Crybaby (2000). The fact that these albums were released only months, not years, apart are a testament to the musical prowess of the Blitzkrieg we call The Melvins. With songs like “Toy” and “Black Santa” the mellow, melodic sound of this album will entice you to enjoy it near the warmth of a hearth, while you sip on a hot toddy. It relaxed and mischievous feel will evoke the simpler times of your childhood, as The Melvins prove once again that they have more range in their pinkies then most bands have at all. Join The Melvins on this weird, psychedelic and surreal journey though the innocence of our childhood imaginations, while you enjoy flashbacks of that time you where tripping during that sweet ass snowstorm.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I was introduced to the Melvins by a friend from work who played guitar. The first time we meet he asked me if I listened Tool and the Deftones. I complied and we've been friend ever since. One day during a smoke break he told me about seeing The Melvins with Jello Biafra the night before. Staring at him, with a puzzled look on my face I asked, “Who are The Melvins?”. As the story goes he was first shocked, but more than that, he was... well, disappointed. So disappointed in fact, that he told me he would introduce me to them and, “You my friend WILL love them.” The Dead Guy had not been born yet, but very soon would be, along with <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=432487604847&set=a.492462544847.298197.812704847">“the jacket”</a> . Loving bands like Tool and the Deftones as I did, finding the Melvins was like finding the holy grail of stoner metal. The now gray haired rock good, King Buzzo was a force of awe. He was a lumbering, sludgy, guitar shredding nerd with a great sense of humor, who I would one day meet. And sitting behind him, wielding a drum kit like the Hammer of Thor, was a mini Danny Carry named Dale Crover. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Being plumbed aurally by these two, I have grown quite accustomed to the heavy stoner sound that made me feel high when I was completely sober. Yet with such a distinct sound, I'm always impressed that none of their works sound alike, and this album is no exception. What may be the most unique work of the melvins, it displays a eureka moment of precision, granted by the experimentation that was afforded to them, after Atlantic dropped the from their label, and Mike Patton signed them to his indie label, Ipecac Records. Signing with Ipecac has given The Melvins the ability to experiment in all aspects with the recording process, which wasn't usually granted by major labels. It would be pretty ballsy to go into a new record company with such an ambitious idea like a trilogy, but with Mike Patton anything is possible. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> The only thing that would be more ambitious then this masterpiece and the rest of the trilogy would be if Tool did a jazz album. This album has the ability to be a sprawling laid back trip that could fit into a corner of an empty, run down gin joint on Christmas Eve. It expands and contracts with mellow jams that seamless flow into some of the weirdest experiments with noise and sound that would make John Cale and Frank Zappa proud. From Buzzo's enchanted whispering of, “Toy, Toy, Toy, Toy” at the beginning of the album all the way to the spacey psychedelic acoustic jam of “Prig”this album will make you feel warm all over this holiday season.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">-The Dead Guy</p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal">Track list (youtube.com links):<br /></p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXc_MoknxLA&playnext=1&list=PL7AB335CD5DDCA975&index=8">1.Toy</a></p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RI5EmocOg5I">2. Let It All Be (live in Norway!)<br /></a></p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRliC4HYG44">3. Black Santa</a></p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTUdkG7Lo6A&feature=BF&list=PL7AB335CD5DDCA975&index=11">4. We We</a></p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygX2Xawu46Q&list=PL7AB335CD5DDCA975&index=12&playnext=1&feature=bfnav">5. Up The Dumper</a></p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsI8k7WIAPU&list=PL7AB335CD5DDCA975&index=13&playnext=1&feature=bfnav">6. Mary Lady Bobby Kins</a></p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NmG_uUGzY0&list=PL7AB335CD5DDCA975&index=14&playnext=1&feature=bfnav">7. Jew Boy Flower Head</a></p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6X0U7NlfSc&feature=related">8. Lone Rose Holding Now</a></p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0tE5utjXF8">9. Prig</a><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">*<span style="font-style: italic;">Editor's Note: Let us know if you like these music posts and we'll keep doing them if you do</span>.<br /></p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-81543095078015818102010-12-11T01:44:00.001-05:002010-12-11T01:47:07.503-05:00We Can And Should Speak Out, Collectively and Do The Right Thing: or What Social Networking Sites CAN Be Good For<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> 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</w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">Tonight, I did something I rarely do. I went to a suburban bar with a cover band playing.<span style=""> </span>This trip was solely for the purpose of attending the birthday party of someone who I have met in person once in my life.<span style=""> </span>This person is friends with my partner but, for all intents and purposes, doesn’t really know me from Adam. Nonetheless, I made the trek and paid the five dollar cover, because it seemed like the right thing to do. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">When I arrived, I was surprised to be greeted by a room full of veritable strangers with warm smiles and hugs.<span style=""> </span>It did not take long for people to ask me if I needed drink or to offer me a seat in a crowded room.<span style=""> </span>I am not a particularly open or familiar person.<span style=""> </span>In fact, I am painfully shy at times.<span style=""> </span>However, that did not matter tonight.<span style=""> </span>Because it is close to the holidays and we are American adults.<span style=""> </span>This is what we do.<span style=""> </span>We smile and extend kindness to those who we believe have extended kindness to our friends and comrades. I was accepted and made to feel like family by a group of strangers simply because I am kind to and care for one of their own.<span style=""> </span>This is our culture.<span style=""> </span>We care for those who care for those who we care about.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Why then, do we have so much trouble passing a bill which provides care to those who responded to the trauma and violence of September 11, 2001 by risking their own well being in order to ensure the well being of others?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">As Americans, we often show caring and compassion for those who we perceive to have been wronged, either by other people or by the system itself.<span style=""> </span>We are quick to respond to calls for charitable donations and we are proud of it.<span style=""> </span>Yet we seem to have no problem allowing congress to not pass a law which will provide healthcare for those who responded to the September 11<sup>th</sup> disaster by rushing into the chaos and attempting t help those who were most directly affected. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">How is this even possible?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Much like every other American, I think I remember that day very clearly and I know I remember the aftermath of that day as clear as anything.<span style=""> </span>I can clearly remember everyone I came in contact with clutching their newly purchase American flags and sentimental materials and waxing poetic about heroism and the nature of the American consciousness.<span style=""> </span>I remember a lot of talk about coming together and supporting one another in an extremely trying time.<span style=""> </span>I remember the endless platitudes and syllogisms about colors that don’t run and the strength of a nation.<span style=""> </span>It seemed like everyone around me wanted to talk about how powerful we can be when we come together and support each other.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And, as sentimentally overwrought as some of these expressions may have been, they all had a grain of truth.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">We <i style="">can </i>be powerful when we come together.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">We can change the world, or at least <i style="">our </i>world, when we collectively decide to do the right thing.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">But we didn’t.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Granted, we did care for a while.<span style=""> </span>We extended hugs and generosity and understanding like I have never seen before or after.<span style=""> </span>For at least a few weeks following the tragedy, we lived in the America which I had always imagined had existed long before I was born; The America where every citizen extended a warm hand to every other citizen and we care for each other like family. Then, the bubble burst.<span style=""> </span>We became fearful of other Americans who were too similar to our middle eastern neighbors in dress and religious creed.<span style=""> </span>We became entrenched in several wars and began to bicker, once again, about foreign policy and economic legislation.<span style=""> </span>We forgot to be unified.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">We forgot our unity and we forgot about those who volunteered to help in one of the most frightening events I have ever seen.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">We focused instead on tax cuts, abortion, NAFTA and a host of other issues.<span style=""> </span>We bickered and argued and campaigned and voted.<span style=""> </span>Somewhere, in the sound and the fury of our everyday lives and the endless shout outs of frustration, admiration and support to soldiers and politicians alike, we forgot to <span style=""> </span>check on the very people who had, not so long ago, rushed head on into the smoldering destruction just to make sure others were safe.<span style=""> </span>While we were debating and campaigning and speaking out many of these men and women were becoming ill as a result of their bravery and we never noticed. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">They are sick and some of them are dying.<span style=""> </span>The right thing to do would be to pay for their healthcare.<span style=""> </span>If they were enlisted soldiers, who were being ordered to help and paid for their service during the September 11h attacks, they would have at least their basic healthcare needs taken care of, and rightfully so. However, many of these people were neither ordered nor paid to attempt to aid others in such a frightening and chaotic time.<span style=""> </span>Many of them are simply American citizens who felt that they could and should offer a helping hand during a crisis.<span style=""> </span>They rushed in when most were fleeing.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">As a result of this, many of them became ill and our government, the people who we voted into office, will not pass a bill which provides them with the care they need.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Last week, congress voted down a bill which would provide healthcare to those who were sickened as a direct result of their actions in support of other Americans on September 11, 2001.<span style=""> </span>And very few people seem to care.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Less than one week ago, my inbox and news feeds were flooded by people who were changing their profile pictures to support a war on a concept. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">This week, a very real and challengeable fact became public, and no one reacted.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">This is shameful to me. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">However, it doesn’t have to be.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">We can change it.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">If you are one of the many Americans who cared on September 11 and continues to care now about the men and women who bravely sacrificed their own sense of well being in order to insure that of others, then I urge you to look up your local senator and harass the living hell out of them. Send letters, make phone calls, put the word out on facebook, twitter and myspace. Scream from the rooftops. Hold a sit in.<span style=""> </span>Throw rocks through the windows of politicians.<span style=""> </span>Do whatever it takes to be heard. Support the 9/11 Responders act and <i style="">demand </i>that those who you have voted into office do the same.<span style=""> </span>It is the <i style="">only </i>right thing to do.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Please America, restore my faith in you.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">As Christmas and all of its attendant sentiments approaches, please do what you can to make sure that these people are not left without the care they deserve for any longer.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I double dog dare you to.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">_Shannon</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span></p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-60419503782538652972010-12-11T01:37:00.003-05:002010-12-11T01:41:20.630-05:00The Lone One: Or How One Small Thing Can Be A Powerfull Remider<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> 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mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">Over Thanksgiving dinner my sister-in-law and I were discussing her two and a half year-old’s newfound fascination with his penis. “When he pees in the bathtub he becomes mesmerized, like he can’t believe it’s coming out of him.” Without a beat I quipped, “And he’ll feel the same exact way twelve or so years from now.” It took my sister-in-law some time to figure out what I was referring to. “Oh?...Oh! Gross!” </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> I didn’t intend to sexualize her little boy, and I suppose to a woman (and a mother, no less) it’s relatively unfamiliar territory, but the first time a boy ejaculates semen is, for lack of a better term, MESMERIZING! I’ll never forget my first time. I was busy rubbing up against something soft behind my double-bolted bedroom door when, after months of shooting throbbing blanks, BOOYA!, there it was! Only, it was hardly a stream of virility; it was more like a sad little droplet of diluted baby batter. But its implications were nevertheless gargantuan, and I knew this then. I was a man.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> There’s henceforth an array of physical rights of passage that most men experience as they pubesce and age -- shaving, growing chest hair, sprouting an upper ass patch, etc. I remember the first time I noticed hair on my toes. Well, it wasn’t I who first pointed it out but a couple of my high school friends. I was lifeguarding on a sleepy beach in Southern New Jersey and I asked my friends -- both girls -- to stop by one particularly drowsy summer afternoon to keep me company. They grudgingly obliged, only after I promised to buy them a case of beer with my infallible fake ID. When they arrived at the beach and saw me perched atop one of those towering lifeguard stands, they almost lost it. My friend, KMH, ever the alpha, grumbled, “What, you’re just going to sit way up there and look down at us the entire time? No way. Get your ass down here.” “I can’t come down unless it’s work related.” “Work related? There’s no one in sight. Well we’re not going to stand around and talk to your feet all day.” That’s when my friend, ABK, surveyed the few, errant, wiry hairs springing out of my big toe. “Eew, sick, look at his toe hair. It’s like a Hitler ‘stache.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> Fast-forward to today. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> After one of the worst nights of sleep I’ve had to endure in quite a while I woke up this morning to a new physical right of passage -- one that is not so much mesmerizing as paralyzing. Not so much virile as sterile. Not so much stimulating as utterly deflating. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Cruelly confident in and of itself, resolute, foreboding and unmistakable, there it was (shining in all its glory): <i style="">the lone gray pube</i>.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> I couldn’t believe my bleary eyes. Maybe it was the way the sunlight gleamed on it as I rolled out of bed naked? (Note: I only wake up unclothed after sleepless nights in which I rip off all articles of clothing one-by-one in an insomnolent haze). But after close, closer, *extremely* close inspection, however, I was able to confirm that it was not a healthy and vibrant sheen of my natural hair color but indeed a gray, nay, a white, nay, a whiter-than-white pube. Fucker.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I immediately crawled back into bed to contemplate what this meant.<span style=""> </span>There of course would be more of these. And soon, I’m sure. While wrinkles and gray hair (on one’s head!) may, on a good day, help to “distinguish” a gentleman, there’s nothing at all sexy about gray pubic hair. No one can pull it off. NO ONE. (Sidebar: Google ‘gray pubic hair’ and enjoy what comes up).</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> So I considered where this sadistic and arrogant pube now left me. No doubt I’m a changed man. Sure, it’s only one pluckable little hair, but the implications of it are huge, and not nearly as exciting as when I first discovered I could procreate. But then I realized -- I could still procreate if I wanted. In fact, I could still do everything I did before, some of it even better than when I was a young man. And, in a way, this gray pube proves it, not to anybody else perhaps but definitely to me. My lone gray pube is actually my body’s way of telling myself that after all these years I’ve earned it, whatever ‘it’ happens to be. And, come to think of it, I have. I have earned it. And I deserve it, too. Thank you. Thank you, lone gray pube, for reminding me of this. You did good, really good. I genuinely appreciate it. Now, goodbye. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">**FLUSH**</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> -Duardo</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span></p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-54137422653834547402010-12-07T19:35:00.002-05:002010-12-07T19:38:58.914-05:00Juke Box Throwdown: Jane's Addiction- Ted Just Admit It<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" 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name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><b>"Ted, Just Admit It..."</b><br /><br />Camera got them images<br />Camera got them all<br />Nothing's shocking...<br />Showed me everybody<br />Naked and disfigured<br />Nothing's shocking...<br />And then he came<br />Now sister's<br />Not a virgin anymore<br />Her sex is violent...<br /><br />The T.V.'s got them images<br />T.V.'s got them all<br />It's not shocking!<br />Every half an hour<br />Someone's captured and<br />The cop moves them along...<br />It's just like the show before<br />The news is<br />Just another show<br />With sex and violence...<br /><br />Sex is violent...<br />Sex is violent...<br />Sex is violent...<br />Sex is violent...<br />Sex is violent...<br />Sex is violent...<br />Sex is violent!<br /><br />I am the killer of people<br />You look like a meatball<br />I'll throw away your toothpick<br />And ask for your giveness<br /><br />Because of this thing!<br />Because of this thing!<br />Because of this thing!<br /><br />That's in me<br />Is it not in you?<br />Is it not your problem?<br />A baby to a mother...<br /><br />You talk too much<br />To your scapegoat<br />That's what I say<br />He tells you everyone is stupid<br />That's what he thinks!<br /><br />Snapshots<br />Make a girl look cheap<br />Like a tongue extended<br />A baby's to a mother<br /><br />Sex is violent!<br />Sex is violent!<br />Sex is violent!<br />Sex is violent!</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I wanted to focus on this particular song, because Jane’s Addiction has long been one of those bands who I can slip into as easily as a well worn pair of oversized coveralls.<span style=""> </span>I loved them with the intensity that only a 14 year old kid can love a band for a good portion of high school, and then, as is often the case, I sort of forgot about them.<span style=""> </span>However, there have been a few random occasions throughout my adult life where they have come back out of nowhere to remind me of how much I love them.<span style=""> </span>One such occasion was just a few weeks ago when The Dead Guy and I were hanging out and listening to Nothing’s Shocking and Ted Just Admit It popped up.<span style=""> </span>At that moment, I could not help but think about how this particular song, with its themes of sex, violence and media, seems even more relevant today than it was in 1988, when it was released, and again in 1993, when it was included in the Natural Born Killers soundtrack.<span style=""> </span>I then began to babble about it, which is exactly when the idea for Jukebox Throwdown was formed.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">That said, I suppose a good place to start with this song would be examining why the lyrics were and are so relevant.<span style=""> </span>Well, obviously, Perry Farrell was reacting to an onslaught of shocking and highly sexualized content in the news media, especially on T.V.<span style=""> </span>I don’t remember the eighties well, but I do remember the very late eighties and early nineties as a time when television news seemed to focus almost entirely on violence and sex. I have no idea if my perception of this time is accurate, or if it was simply a case of me becoming more aware.<span style=""> </span>I suspect it was a combination of the two.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">To that end, the title of the song has always made me think of nightly news anchor Ted Koppel.<span style=""> </span>Now, I know that there are references throughout the song to Ted Bundy, whose trial and interviews were being conducted around the time that this song was written, but I think it is entirely possible that the title and resulting lyrics are a double entendre of sorts: asking the listener to consider the fact that most media had become violent and that most of our primal urges are violent by definition.<span style=""> </span>Flash forward to now, and it is easy to dismiss the amount of violence we see in our every day television viewing, even if it is just the nightly news, as a symptom of living in more violent or unstable times, but I think this is a misnomer, and that this song is asking us to examine exactly that.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">When we see or hear of an act of violence, from a slightly less than equal sexual encounter to a brutally horrific murder, we are at once repulsed and titillated.<span style=""> </span>Our hearts speed up.<span style=""> </span>We get very agitated. Our endocrine system kicks in and we are flooded with hormones.<span style=""> </span>These reactions are similar to what occurs when we are sexually aroused.<span style=""> </span>This arousal is, of course, uncomfortable for us.<span style=""> </span>No one wants to admit that they feel anything akin to enjoyment when they are confronted with the most heinous of acts, but we do.<span style=""> </span>We know, on a visceral level, that we would not act out of this primal reaction, but just that slight tingling of excitement causes us to watch these items more intensely.<span style=""> </span>We are as captivated by the horrors of truly diseased men as we are by images of sex acts.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">As we move along through the lyrics, there are many references to images of naked and disfigured women being made to look cheap. Again, a parallel is drawn between the literal image of a murder victim and the highly polished and artificial images which are presented in pornography.<span style=""> </span>Our society gasps in audible disgust at the idea of seeing an image of a woman who has been cut or altered in an act of violence such as murder or rape, yet images of women whose physical appearances have been altered by a surgeon are widely accepted and even sought after, both now and then.<span style=""> </span>I think that, by using the sexual imagery in the song along with the violent imagery, Farrell was reminding us that we are drawing an invisible and ever moving line between how much violence and disfigurement is acceptable and how much is not and then using that line to both justify our own actions and to sell the actions of those we despise.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">In other words, by fetishizing violence in the news ad using it to sell ad space and keep viewers engaged while lashing out against sexual imagery in the main stream, we have created a bizarre vacuum.<span style=""> </span>We spend hours viewing acts which are vile, heinous and frightening via the news and no one questions it. However, we still fight to keep images of sexual acts and expressions under cover.<span style=""> </span>Perhaps, we, like Ted, need to admit that this sort of shaming of something natural and beautiful along with the exploitation of something so vile may be causing some of the problems we are facing.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">-Shannon</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">After the Tipper Gore PMRC debacle, many bands felt it necessary to mock, stand up to, and expose what they thought was a true purveyor of the perversion of sex and violence, the news. It also informed us that these drives in the human psyche had a very thin line of distinction. Ted Bundy had been on the run since he escaped in the late 70's, and violence and murder was always enticing to the audience, as we would learn over and over again, with Jeffery Dahmer, John Wayne Gayce and O.J Simpson. The American public had their eyes glued to the screen to find out all of the horrors that had been perpetrated, and in particularly graphic detail during the trails.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">We've learned very little since then about the correlation of sex and violence in the neurology of the human brain. But one could make the claim that the simple act of penetration, even in the case of sex is, in and of itself violent. Not all human beings enjoy the more extreme practices of S&M, but you could also make the case that acts like pulling hair, and even the dominant act of mounting evoke a Sadomasochistic element. What we have learned is that when it comes to entertainment sex (commercials) and violence (sports and movies) always sell. As Farrell sings “The news is just another show with sex and violence...”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Perry Farrell takes the time to really blur the line that separates these two acts. If you look at the lyrics one way he may be describing the photos of the victims that Ted Bundy captured during his rampage, or under another light of awareness it could be describing the circus of news camera before, during and after Bundy's trail, “Every half an hour someone's captured and the cop moves them along...It's just like the show before.” Farrell seems to be pointing out that the people think the news helps raise awareness about the heinous acts, when that is not the case. The news covers these stories for one reason, because people like them. The news is not here to rid the world of evil, if anything its mission is to create a culture of fear in order to desensitize people into accepting the fact that these atrocities will probably never go away.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:100%;" >- The Dead Guy</span></p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-9920573700266271502010-12-04T16:07:00.006-05:002010-12-04T18:07:14.843-05:00Activism in the Internet Age: How Cartoon Pictures and Purse Positions Are Bullshit Forms of Masturbation and Self Aggrandizement.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> 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unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">It started back in October, when countless facebook friends started posting updates that read “I like it on the floor” or “I like it in the kitchen” in order to, apparently or not so apparently, raise awareness of breast cancer.<span style=""> </span>It reached a fever pitch this afternoon, when I began receiving feedback from a slightly drunken status update last night about how changing one’s profile picture to a photo of a childhood cartoon was not going to help any abused children in any way.<span style=""> </span>It started as an annoyance and a mere cause for eye rolling.<span style=""> </span>Now, it has reached a fever pitch of anger.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It is the time to call “bullshit” on facebook awareness campaigns.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I know it may seem a little cynical to state this, but awareness campaigns in general, and facebook awareness campaigns specifically, are utterly useless ways to waste time and energy. This should not be surprising to anyone, as facebook itself is just that; a time waster.<span style=""> </span>Now, don’t get me wrong, I see no problem with wasting time.<span style=""> </span>I don’t even see a problem with people changing their photos because they wish they were She-Ra or Rainbow Brite.<span style=""> </span>However, my problem comes from the fact that these campaigns are so often held up as examples of activism when they are not at all effective and really have no purpose beyond making the person who participates feel as though they’ve done something to affect a positive change.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Awareness campaigns in general tend be pretty bad at doing anything other than make people smug,<span style=""> </span>You see, in order to believe that an awareness campaign will really change anything, you have to truly <span style=""> </span>believe that the issue for which you are attempting to raise awareness is one which no one is aware of already.<span style=""> </span>For example, let’s take the aforementioned child abuse campaign.<span style=""> </span>How many people out there are really and truly unaware that child abuse exists?<span style=""> </span>Assuming there are such people in existence at all, how likely would it be that they would be capable of using a computer or understanding the complexities of an in joke?<span style=""> </span>Even if they could, they’d have to search long and hard to figure out what this one is all about, as most users are just changing their profile pics without a word of explanation.<span style=""> </span>Starting a campaign which is predicated upon the assumption that people are unaware of something which has become a facebook meme is pretty silly if you think about it.<span style=""> </span>The same goes with awareness campaigns which utilize real world tactics such as buying and displaying ribbons or wearing a specific color.<span style=""> </span>All they do is let people know that the wearer or picture changer has spent some time and/or money on something which will allow them to tell the world that they care about something that everyone else cares about, only they care enough to buy something or google a cartoon image.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It is this positioning of participants in such campaigns as do gooders or world changers that pisses me off more than anything.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The fact is that changing anything, be it the rates at which we find cancer cures and causes, the amount of children who are abused, or the amount of AIDS patients who receive good care takes sacrifice and effort.<span style=""> </span>This is why most people prefer to participate in a facebook campaign or purchase a pink ribbon or buy a red shirt from the GAP.<span style=""> </span>These actions are easy, painless, and still allow people to feel like they’ve done something good.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Only, they haven’t.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">In some cases, they may have even caused more harm than good.<span style=""> </span>For instance, any cancer awareness campaign which uses plastic trinkets to send a message is using a material which introduces known carcinogens into the environment.<span style=""> </span>How, exactly, is that helpful in curing cancer?<span style=""> </span>Buying clothing form the Gap supports an economic system which exploits and damages countries, such as Africa, where the need for AIDS intervention is greatest.<span style=""> </span>This is improving lives how?<span style=""> </span>Finally, sitting in front of your computer and searching for cartoon photos keeps you detached and removed from the hundreds of ways you can make a difference in the life of a child in need or in the life of a cancer or AIDS sufferer.<span style=""> </span>It not only helps nothing, but it allows you to feel as though you have accomplished something when, in fact you’ve not done anything more than make yourself feel warm and fuzzy.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now, here’s where it gets tricky for me.<span style=""> </span>I have no problem with people wasting time and making themselves feel good.<span style=""> </span>In fact, as a blogger, it’s in my best interest that people <i style="">do </i>waste time on the internet.<span style=""> </span>However, it is not ok to dress this time wasting up as change.<span style=""> </span>I truly believe that most people do not intentionally do this.<span style=""> </span>I think that most people want to help affect change.<span style=""> </span>However, I think that most people are truly unaware of how much effort it actually takes to do so, and do not like anything that involves a large amount of personal sacrifice.<span style=""> </span>The fact is that, sadly, that is exactly what affecting change may take.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">One person is not likely to rid the world of all its ills and suffering.<span style=""> </span>However, one person can choose one or two areas in which to direct their energy and time and begin to make a small change.<span style=""> </span>One of the argumentative responses I received to my status regarding the child abuse campaign stated that while changing photos would not end all child abuse everywhere, neither would my suggested actions of intervention, volunteerism, real education and actual advocacy.<span style=""> </span>It’s true.<span style=""> </span>Doing any or all of those things will not end violence against children.<span style=""> </span>However, unlike the facebook campaign, it can help to free one or more children from the horrors of abuse, or prevent them from facing it in the first place.<span style=""> </span>Isn’t that the kind of change we can quantify?<span style=""> </span>Isn’t that exactly what we <i style="">want </i>to do?<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So, let’s do it.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Let’s walk away from the silliness of facebook campaigns and find a cause we believe in and actually do something for it.<span style=""><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">_Shannon (who will smack a bitch who smacks a kid in front of her)<br /></span></p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-73795393488977435152010-11-25T23:09:00.001-05:002010-11-25T23:11:45.954-05:00Consumerism: A World of Entitlement and Instant Gratification<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> 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Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">With Black Friday on the way, I thought I'd take the time to talk about the more underhanded dynamics of consumerism, that most Americans are unaware of. Hopefully, this will cause the snarling masses to pause before they lunge at a Wii in a department store near you this Friday. For those who are not aware, “Consumerism is a social and economic construct, perpetuated by advertising and marketing, in order to to create and encourage the desire to purchase goods or services in large quantities.” A formula for consumption as a “way of life” was purposed by Victor Lebow, (god I hate that guy), in his paper <i>Price Competition in 1955,</i> where he states, "Our enormously productive economy demands that we make consumption a way of life, that we convert the buying and use of goods into rituals, that we seek our spiritual satisfactions in consumption....We need things consumed, burned up, worn out, replaced, and discarded at an ever growing rate." This idea permeates our culture, and manufactures false ideals that create a sort of “consensus reality”, which perpetuates the idea of shopping as a “spiritual practice” and encourages entitlement and satisfies the desire for instant gratification.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">While the conservatives and liberals argue about what is destroying American ideals, the philosophy of consumerism quietly establishes itself as the predominant “religion” of the west world, which is more likely the culprit responsible for this cultural degradation. Conservatives blame liberals because of their tolerating homosexuality, protecting abortion rights, providing welfare and socialized medicine. Liberals blame conservatives for giving the wealthy larger tax breaks, trying to abolish the separation of church and state and encroaching on our civil liberties. Most of this is social posturing, utilized to divide and conquer American citizens. They mindlessly distracting us with either the hot social issue of the day, or they spend the rest of their time pointing out what makes us socially different (ie. race, religion, ethnic and national background, jobs, income, education, social status, sexuality)<b>.</b> All of this seems like nothing more than a ploy to keep us uniformed and uneducated about real issue that are seemingly never covered by the media.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">The reason for this is quite simple; it all boils down to advertising. The best example that comes to mind was the Fox syndicated WTVT “Cancer Milk” exposé about the artificial bovine growth hormone (BGH), a recombinant bovine growth hormone, or rBGH, known better as Posilac. Posilac is a synthetic hormone developed by Monsanto that is injected into cows to increase milk production. Many people are unaware that Posilac was banned from use in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Japan and most of Europe, by 2000 or earlier. In 1997 Steve Wilson and Jane Akre worked together on a story about rBGH for Fox's WTVT in Florida. As a result of their investigation they discovered that BGH had been approved by the FDA after only one human study on 30 medical rats for 90 days. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">It has also been recently discovered that rBGH may increase the risk of mastitis, an infection of the udders from over production of milk, by 25%. In addition to mastitis, rBGH has been demonstrated to increase the incidence of 15 different harmful effects to cows' health, including birth disorders, increased pus in milk, hoof problems, heat stress, diarrhea, and other gastrointestinal disturbances. It is interesting to note that The Humane Society of the U.S., Humane Farming Association, Farm Sanctuary and Animal Protection Institute all oppose the use of rBGH. It is because of this that shortly before the story was aired, Fox News received two faxes from Monsanto's lawyers. One of which stated that the story was, “a great concern to Monsanto”, and that there would be, “dire consequences for Fox News. ” if the story aired in Florida. Fox News subsequently pulled piece for deliberation on the story, for fear of losing advertisement money for products like Round-up, which is produced by Monsanto. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Shortly after, the General Manager of WTVT Fox asked the journalist how they would feel if the story was “killed” and if they would tell anyone. In an attempt to bribe the journalists a lawyer of WTVT sent the journalists such a bribe in the form of a confidentiality agreement, which guaranteed both journalists a full year’s salary as long as they never talked about Monsanto, the legal process taken up by Fox and also that they could not take it to another news station. The journalist refused to sign such a waiver and keep it as evidence that fox was trying to bribe them. WTVT aware that they could not fire or bribe the journalists decided to edit the expose with the journalist 83 times! Most of the editing decisions were made in order to reduce or remove any criticism of Monsanto. For instance words like “cancer” were substituted by more docile euphemisms like, “human health implication”. Inevitably, the two journalists took legal action against Fox under whistle blower status. The sad thing is that Fox won the appeal, since the judges claimed that the FCC policy against falsification of the news does not rise to the level of a "law, rule, or regulation," it was simply a "policy." </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Consequently, this means that the FCC, a government body established to protect American citizens, is good for nothing, except when it comes to crucifying people like George Carlin and Howard Stern for “obscene” language. The advertisers and marketing executives get paid the big bucks, because they are so good at what they do, which is nothing short of propaganda. They can be misleading or even falsify information to their consumers, just as long as their products don't violate any laws established by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) or the Federal Trade Commision (FTC). That is why, as George Carlin put it, “America's leading industry, America's most profitable business, is still, the manufacture, packaging, distribution, and marketing of Bullshit. High quality, grade A, prime cut, pure American Bullshit.” This is the same reason that during every election cycle we see smear ads plastered across our television screens, and wonder why nobody does anything about it. It is because any legal action must be pursued by the candidate, in the case of libel or defamation, which would inevitably take up more of a candidate’s time and money, then creating a counter attack campaign ad would.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">This is no big surprise, since by now if you haven't heard it is the corporation that owns and runs this country, not the lowly citizens. We've granted the corporations and conglomerates of this country, with the power to replace the meaningful rituals of certain holidays like Christmas and Valentine’s Day with banal ritual of shopping and consumerism. Even “patriotic” holidays, such as Memorial Day and Veterans Day, have been replaced with sales that to the general public are infinitely more important than the dead men and woman that have served this county. Since the 80's this country has become nothing more than a “coast-to-coast shopping mall”. The remnants of which have been raped by what I like the call the United Sodomizers of America; A group of elite corporations that tempt consumers with over priced goods, built upon the blood, sweat and tears of slave laborers of third world countries. It disturbs me that Americans don't mind being referred to as “consumers”, a poorly constructed euphemism that describes those of us who...CONSUME! But the longer you live in this country and the more you look around the more you realize that is exactly our motive of operation. The word consume means to “destroy or expend by use”, it can also refers to the “spending of money or time wastefully”. And when it comes to wasting money and time America is #1! I really think it is pathetic if that is the only thing we excel at anymore as a nation. Once this country becomes nothing more than a Third world consumer plantation, more developed countries like India and China may start creating better jobs. And with developing countries like India and China hot on our tails, who knows maybe America will be unseated as the Heavy Weight champion of consumption, and forced to excel at something else...like sweat shops! </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">America constitutes only 5% of the world’s population, but consume more than a 25% of the worlds resources on a daily basis. It is also interesting to note that a majority of products that American's consume are poor made electronics that become obsolete within 6 months. This helps to perpetuate Victor Lebow's vision of creating products that can be, “consumed, burned up, worn out, replaced, and discarded at an ever growing rate.” Little do people know that the products that become obsolete are shipped to landfills in India where desperately poor children pull apart the devices to salvage lucrative metals like copper. Also, as a result, the salvaging releases harmful chemicals and nurotoxins, which will either be inhaled by the children, or leach into the ground to affect countless numbers of innocent lives. None of this is presented to the American public while they watch commercials celebrating the new iPhone or any other host of soon to be obsolete gadgets and gizmos. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">You could call Americans ignorant, but that is an understatement. The truth if the matter is that American's simply don't care. Most Americans don't want to know that a overwhelming majority of the cleaning products they purchase contain chemicals that are carcinogenic. They don't care that the production of plastic, which can only be down-cycled, not recycled, is polluting their water and soil from leching. When it comes to consumer products, Americans only care about themselves and how other with view them. They allow their consumer goods to define who they are, by buying the latest cars, gizmos and video games. Instead of purchasing things like books or art, which demonstrates to others that they acquire possessions with intrinsic value, that are an extension of who they are, not what they are.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> -The Dead Guy (Who Won't be Caught Dead Near A Big Box Store This X-mas)<br /></p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-85439494994084707372010-11-25T21:13:00.003-05:002010-11-25T23:07:37.025-05:00Healthcare In The Real World: Or How We've Politicized The Personal<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> 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10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">Lately, it seems like there has been a lot of talk about healthcare in the US.<span style=""> </span>No one on either side of the political debate seems particularly pleased with the new healthcare bill, and many seem unhappy with the state of healthcare as it is.<span style=""> </span>I often hear people complaining that private healthcare <i style="">is </i>available to anyone who is hard working, a tax payer, and who wants it and publicly assisted healthcare is there for the poor.<span style=""> </span>Since it’s already so widely available, they seem to reason, then why should we change the system?<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">They’re right, to a point.<span style=""> </span>Yes, private healthcare is <i style="">available </i>to nearly anyone who wants it, at least on the surface, and yes there are already public assistance programs for the poor, but this is a pretty incomplete view of the American healthcare system, which avoids addressing the fact that many Americans fall somewhere between having ability to pay for their own healthcare and being poor enough to qualify for public assistance.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I am one of those Americans.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I have worked, mostly full time, for the past 16 years.<span style=""> </span>During those 16 years, I had exactly one year of working for a company which provided reasonable health insurance to its employees.<span style=""> </span>Most of my jobs have involved waiting tables, and most of them have been for corporations, as opposed to mom and pop restaurants.<span style=""> </span>I think this is important to note, because the corporate jobs which did provide any healthcare at all, provided bare bones, emergency only coverage to employees who worked a minimum of 40 hours a week.<span style=""> </span>However, the one independently owned company I worked for offered the best insurance they could afford to their employees.<span style=""> </span>Many of my friends have had exactly the same experience, with major corporations offering piss poor or no benefits to employees while smaller companies seem to offer livable policies.<span style=""> </span>This experience flies in the face of those naysayers who bemoan the fact that it would be unfair to “force” small businesses to provide health insurance.<span style=""> </span>You see, most small businesses seem to operate under the belief that their employees are human beings and, as such, deserve to be treated fairly.<span style=""> </span>If a business is already providing good coverage for their employees, the healthcare bill as I understand it will not affect them at all.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">However, this is not about the healthcare bill and what it will or won’t do.<span style=""> </span>This is about what it is like to be one of the many people who cannot afford to insure themselves, but are not eligible to receive publicly assisted healthcare.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">For me, it is pretty horrendous.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">As a 31 year old student with little to no income during the school year, I certainly cannot afford to purchase private insurance for myself and, even if I could, half of the things which concern a thirty year old woman would not even be covered.<span style=""> </span>These include, but are not limited to: birth control, maternity, some forms of cancer screening (including breast and cervical), yearly gynecological exams, and STI screenings. <span style=""> </span>However, as an uninsured woman, I can access these things though my local Planned Parenthood where I can pay on a scale that relates to my current income level.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">This may sound like a pretty good deal, but a trip to Planned Parenthood is not a very pleasant experience.<span style=""> </span>For me, an annual checkup must be arranged months in advance, I must answer hours worth of questions about my sexual history, medical history and current income every single time I walk through the door, and I often spend hours in their waiting room only to be led to an exam room, told to undress and left sitting, in nothing but a paper robe and knee socks, for up to an hour while I wait for the clinician on duty to come into the room. I never see the same clinician twice and, as a result of that, a routine pelvic exam can take over hour as each new caregiver must ask the same questions each time.<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span>Furthermore, using Planned Parenthood as a resource for birth control means that I have very little personal choice in terms of which type I receive.<span style=""> </span>One clinician may determine that I need a combination pill one year, while another (as was my most recent experience) may aggressive push me toward having an IUD inserted to the point of refusing to continue my previous pill.<span style=""> </span>If I take issue with the method they are prescribing, I am often told that as a non insured patient I should be grateful for what I can get and take it or leave it.<span style=""> </span>Don’t get me wrong here, I am grateful for the resource, but it is still very frustrating to feel as though my opinion regarding my body does not matter as much as it would if I were insured. Although trips to their clinics are not often pleasant or comfortable as an overtaxed system must provide care for thousands of men and women each day, I am at least able to access some healthcare through them.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Even with access to sexual healthcare through Planned Parenthood, not having insurance still leaves me in a precarious position in terms of general sickness and health issues.<span style=""> </span>In my position, being sick rarely means a trip to the doctor, unless there is something seriously wrong.<span style=""> </span>This means that I will often hold off on seeking care until I am nearly disabled by whatever sickness I have and, even then, will not seek help unless I am pretty certain that the illness requires antibiotics.<span style=""> </span>Instead, most illnesses involve a lot of googling, a lot of self medication and a lot of hoping that I am not further damaging myself.<span style=""> </span>The only time I will immediately seek medical care is when I am certain that I’ve got a urinary tract infection, as those absolutely cannot be effectively treated by any home remedy and can progress into sepsis or kidney infections.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">In those rare situations where I <i style="">must </i>seek medical attention, I am often at a loss for what to do.<span style=""> </span>You see, most primary care doctors won’t keep a self paying patient because there is too much risk of unpaid services.<span style=""> </span>Without a primary care doctor, I am often given two options.<span style=""> </span>I can spend an entire day and a month’s salary at the emergency room, or I can utilize an urgent care center.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Whenever the option exists, I use the urgent care center to avoid taking up the time of emergency room staff and incurring the ridiculous cost of being seen in a hospital.<span style=""> </span>Again, I am grateful that such places exist, but using one is not a comfortable experience at all.<span style=""> </span>As with Planned Parenthood, I must redo a full patient history every time I am seen.<span style=""> </span>This means, again, spending hours in a waiting room and constantly having to repeat that I am self paying.<span style=""> </span>Often just those very words are enough to cause the staff’s attitudes to change ever so slightly.<span style=""> </span>Depending on the staff member, I have received everything from lectures on the importance of health insurance to pitying glances in the waiting room and downright degradation in the exam room.<span style=""> </span>Because these centers are often staffed by students who perform all initial consultations, I have been lectured on eating disorders, been told that the student examining me is “certain” that I am sexually promiscuous based on my tattoos, been warmed that my seasonal congestion is a sign of AIDS and been prescribed medication that I am deathly allergic to, despite having clearly marked the allergy on my intake forms.<span style=""> </span>All of these snafus could have easily been avoided if being a self paying patient wasn’t seen as akin to being uneducated or unemployed. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Furthermore, they could all be avoided if I had the ability to have one primary care doctor who I see repeatedly.<span style=""> </span>Having a consistent doctor would mean the world to me as it would mean that I did not have to jump through hoops, be embarrassed, degraded or talked down to, whenever I am in the already frightening position of being sick.<span style=""> </span>It would also mean that I would have access to preventative care and advice beyond the realm of WebMD. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Unfortunately, given our current system, this will not be possible until I am employed by a company which provides decent care, or the system is massively reformed to address the stranglehold which drug manufacturers and insurance companies have on the system.<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span>As one doctor recently explained to me, the current system has doctors answering to insurers and drug companies exploiting this fact by offering samples under the table in order to convince doctors to prescribe their drugs.<span style=""> </span>This means that a doctor with a private practice must justify every service he or she performs to the patient’s insurance company before he or she justifies it to the patient. It also means that it is not in a doctor’s best interest to make services affordable to self paying patients as it takes money out of the pockets of the very insurance companies which pay most of their salaries.<span style=""> </span>Often, giving away those free samples from drug reps is the only way for a doctor to circumvent this.<span style=""> </span>In other words, most doctors have their hands tied in terms of being able to provide service as they see fit and this leaves many patients with less autonomy than they should have.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I know the healthcare debate is shrill and fully loaded for every American, but I also think that we have become so lost in the sound and the fury or it all that we may have forgotten who <i style="">really </i>is affected by the way our current system operates.<span style=""> </span>This is not to say that I am looking for a handout, or, as one Planned Parenthood receptionist recently inferred, crying “poor” in order to exploit the system.<span style=""> </span>On the contrary, I am looking for a reform which will remove the power over our well being from the hands of the insurance and drug companies and return to its rightful place in the hands of each American citizen and their respective caregivers.<span style=""> </span>I only hope that whatever happens in 2014 makes that more possible than it is at this point.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">-Shannon<br /></p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-67040146128973484112010-11-20T23:00:00.000-05:002010-11-20T23:01:08.127-05:00Progressive Rock: Why Its Influence Just Won't Die<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> 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unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Progressive rock is a sub-genre of rock that began to develop during the early 60's. The term progressive could be thought to be synonymous with the term experimental, but experimentation is just one of the many facets of what we call Prog. Few could deny that the 60's were ripe with musical experimentation, especially with the emergence of musicians like the Beatles and Frank Zappa's Mothers of Invention. To Find the earliest roots of Prog, one would have to look no further than The Beatles <i>Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band </i>(1967), which laid the groundwork for popularizing another facet of Prog, the concept album. A concept album was a record that had a instrumental, compositional or narrative theme that unified the music. Meanwhile, Frank Zappa, a musical pioneer known for being unconventional, was responsible for one of the most thought provoking debut albums of the 60's, and possibly in rock history, with the debut <i>Freak Out!</i> (1964). Armed with the talent of The Mothers and Zappa's bitingly sarcastic and satirical song lyrics, the band set out to destroy and dispel the modern myth of what rock music should be. The first half of the album is filled with catchy satirical do-wop pop songs such as “I Ain't Got No Heart” and “Wowwie Zowwie”, while the second half consists of more experimental and socially charged commentaries, which are more evident in songs like “Trouble Every Day” and “Help I'm a Rock”. These albums, with the addition of Bob Dylan going electric and the early recording experimentation of Phil Spector would help in progressing bands, like the Beatles, to give us masterpieces like <i>Let It Be</i>.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">The experimentation of the 60's would eventually lead to the culmination of the cornerstone of what would become Progressive Rock with King Crimson's seminal debut <i>In the Court of the Crimson King</i> (1969). This masterpiece would be darker and more esoteric than it predecessors, leading King Crimson to be dubbed the “Think mans Floyd”. While Pink Floyd would exhaust much of it career exploiting the story of their first lead singer, bands like King Crimson would delve into fits of non-structured improvisation of free jazz in songs like “21<sup>st</sup> Century Schizoid Man”. <i>In the Court of the Crimson King </i>would establish progressive rock as its own style of rock music, giving impetus for more commercially successful bands like Genesis, Yes, Jethro Tull, and Emerson, Lake and Palmer. These bands would chart a musical territory outside of the mainstream, while still be accessible to a large following of fans. It is important to know that Progressive rock was not localized to England, Canadian Rockers Rush were charting new grounds, while Germany bands like Faust were also experimenting with a style of music called Kraut-Rock, and Focus, a little known band hailing from Amsterdam, with their unlikely smash hit “Hocus Pocus”. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Progressive Rock established itself in the 70's as a force to be reckoned with. Prog bands were infamous for combining their intricate song structures and esoteric themes with grandiose arena shows. These extravagant theatrical performances were spiritual, artistic gatherings to some, while to others the obsession with artistic authenticity was considered pompous and pretentious. This pompousness would lay the foundation of the punk ideals that would set out to unseat the Goliath of prog-rock. Punk rockers called for a return to the roots of rock with more rebellion and simplicity. In 1975, with Peter Gabriel announcing he was leaving Genesis at the height of their career, the emergence of the more banal Prog rip off, known as Arena Rock with bands like Journey, Kansas and Boston, and the catchy angry wave of punk coming from bands like The Clash and The Sex Pistols, it seemed as though progressive rock would be slain by its own commercial success. Progressive rock would suffer the setbacks of the late 70's, but this sleeping giant would soon return more poised than ever.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">In the 70's, with the emergence of punk and disco, traditional hard rock was on the verge of extinction. Kiss began to make disco records, while hard rock god like Led Zeppelin and AC/DC lost key members in John Bohnam and Bon Scott to pools of vomit. Disco was short lived, while punk seemed poised to take over the hard rock reigns. Hard rock bands had no choice but to start playing faster, heavier and more proficiently then those in the punk scene. This ideal was reenforced by a DJ named Neal Kay who said, “Nobody should be allowed to stand on stage unless they can present the total professional thing. That is to say that unless they can really sing and really play. Punk was a total anti attitude towards music.” As this pissing match ensued, bands like Motorhead, Judas Preist and Iron Maiden began combining the heavy sound of Black Sabbath with the speed of punk rock. Out of these bands which were refered to as the “new wave” of British heavy metal it seemed as though Iron Maiden was the best at integrating prog rock elements into their music. Motorhead had become the darling of both camps. Iron Maiden, was a lot like Rush, that is to say that even if you don't like the music you know that they are extremely smart and talented individuals.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Bands like Iron Maiden would influence numerous metal bands that also would experiment with elements of prog and musical proficiency. Many of the early Thrash bands like Slayer, Anthrax and Seplutura are known for their musical proficiency. Iron Maiden would also influence the more purist neo-prog in the late 80's with bands like King's X and Dream Theater. Many of these bands became aware of how the theatrics of the evil, or more likely paganism, could enchant an entire audience. For instance, contrary to popular belief bands like Slayer did not write about or worshiping Satan, they used Satan as a personification of the evil and greedy forces that controlled the world. It is because of this that when the song about the Holocaust, specifically “Angel of Death”(1986), were released people tried to label bands like Slayer as satanic, racist skinheads, failing to see that the song is about the horror perpetrated by Dr. Joseph Megela during the holocaust, and that two members , Tom Ayrara and Dave Lombardo, of the band originally hail from South America. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">On the Punk side of the coin, you had a lot of bands who grew up with the first wave of punk. The first wave was mostly comprised of bands like The Sex Pistols, The Clash and the Ramones. Eventually, many musicians decided that punk was too narrow-minded, and lacked experimentation. As a result, more innovative and artsy bands like Joy Division, The Velvet Underground and Wire began to emerge. These bands would influence the disaffected musicians from the second wave of punk, called “hardcore”. Once again, these bands thought punk was becoming conventional and reactionary and, as a result, began to learn more than three or four chords and branch out into uncharted territory. A good example of this was Minneapolis' own Husker Du, a band that started like any other hardcore band, when they released their debut album <i>Land, Speed Record </i>(1981)<i>. </i>Like a lot of the hardcore bands at the time they played fast and angry, with little or even no attention for melody or riffs. But by 1984, with the release of the epic <i>Zen Arcade </i>(1984)<i>, </i>everything had changed. Husker Du had produced an album that had the energy of punk, with a more technically tight song structures. This would lead to the advent of what would become known as “post-hardcore”, and just like the post-punk bands before them bands like Fugazi and Sonic Youth paved the way toward unexplored areas. I use to hate the 80's until I realized that, contrary to popular belief, what really made the 80's truly amazing was all of the underground music, not the fetishistic nostalgia for Debbie Gibson, Duran Duran and stirrup pants that we see on VH1's “I love the 80's”. Underground music was being played on college rock radio stations across the country, laying the ground work that made the 90's possible in the first place.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">By the late 80's nothing was off limits. More and more bands began to experiment with different fusions of styles and genres; everyone was listening to everyone else, and slowly but surely the influences began to blur. It had been five years since Tipper Gore received her fucking sticker, a battle fought and won by the most unlikely heroes of Dee Snider, John Denver and Frank Zappa. Summer festivals like L<cite><span style="font-style: normal;">ollapalooza were in full swing, and so was the PMRC with pickets in hand. But this didn't stop bands like Jane's Addiction, Faith No More and Tool from producing music video that were disturbing and weird, but nothing really that shocking, at least to the fans. Rage Against the Machine was hard at work fusing rap and rock in face melting ways, before and after they stood before a confused audience naked, with P-R-M-C taped across their chests, at Lollapaloza. In fact, the zanier bands seemed to have the most progressive the sound. King Buzzo, of the Melvins, began playing everything in drop D, while Joshua Homme from Kyuss tried to keep up by plugging his guitars into bass amp and tuning them down to G. Les Claypool was experiencing notoriety with his band Primus, gaining a reputation for melting your soul with his muddy bass. </span></cite></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><cite><span style="font-style: normal;">At the top of this sweaty pile of underground, grungy alternative music you had the Pixies, or what should be known as “Our Beatles”! The Pixies were far from Prog, but they experimented more than anyone in a time when “Alternative” music actually meant something. They had created an aural dynamic that wasn't like anyone else. And when the Pixies broke up, musicians everywhere where as heartbroken as the day The Beatles played on the roof of Apple Records. David Bowie in an interview with French magazine, Les Inrockuptibles, said that he, "felt very depressed the day I heard about the Pixies split. What a waste...I could see them becoming huge.” he went on to state later that, “when I heard Nevermind from Nirvana for the first time, I was really, really angry. The dynamics in the songs, this was a total Pixies rip-off. I would have like so much the Pixies and Sonic Youth to be at the top. The former have split, and the latter accept too much compromise.” Eventually Kurt Cobain would admit that he did in fact rip off the sound of the Pixies for </span>Smells Like Teen Spirit</cite><cite><span style="font-style: normal;">. And as the narrow-minded narrative goes; Kurt Cobain blew his fortune on heroine and Courtney Love, and his talent against the wall behind him, and that my friends was the day that the music died, or so most people thought.</span></cite></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><cite><span style="font-style: normal;">Things were pretty bleak after Cobain's death. Most alternative bands were ready to pack it up and call it a show. Many of the grunge bands split up or sold out. The rest became unemployed musicians, who still wanted to keep making good music. After Kyuss disbanded Joshua Homme started the garage influenced prog outfit Queens of the Stone Age, while bands such as The Melvins, Clutch, and Tool were still going strong. Tool and the Melvins would eventually work together producing a 14 minute epic simply titled </span>Divorced</cite><cite><span style="font-style: normal;">, and albums like </span>Colussus of Destiny </cite><cite><span style="font-style: normal;">(2001) and </span>Pigs of the Roman Empire </cite><cite><span style="font-style: normal;">(2004). Tool's Lead singer, Maynard James Kennan, began working on a side project called A Perfect Circle, while bands like Neurosis progressed from a trashy grindcore band to a lumbering, dark and ambient doom metal outfit, which has outlasted most of the bands they had influenced, such as stoner metal legends Isis. In fact stoner rock was filled with progressive influences, while early alternative bands, like the Flaming Lips, were still making music. Producing experimenting with insane idea like the four disc album </span>Zaireeka </cite><cite><span style="font-style: normal;">(1997), which was intended to be played on four synchronized stereos simultaneously, or progressive acid rock excursions like </span>Embryonic </cite><cite><span style="font-style: normal;">(2009), that even Frank Zappa would have been pleased with. </span></cite></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><cite><span style="font-style: normal;">If you think about it thing actually have been looking up for music, which may have something to do with the Pixies reunited in 2004. Radiohead's Thom Yorke, and Flaming Lips frontman Wayne Coyne lost their shit when they found out the Pixies were going to be the secret act at the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival. “That's just not right! The Pixies opening for us is like the Beatles opening for us.” Thom Yorke exclaimed on stage. At the same time more experimental bands began to gain recognition. Mastodon had produced 4 thundering epics each based on the 4 elements of magic; Fire: </span>Remissions</cite><cite><span style="font-style: normal;"> (2002), Water: the Grammy award winning </span>Leviathan</cite><cite><span style="font-style: normal;"> (2004), Earth: </span>Blood Mountain</cite><cite><span style="font-style: normal;"> (2006) and Wind: </span>Crack the Sky</cite><cite><span style="font-style: normal;"> (2009). Also the Prog two piece, Big Business, has joined forces with the Melvins producing the mind numbing drumming tandem of Cody Willis and Dale Crover. A drumming duo so good, the only way this band could get any better is if Buzzo got his wish and added, “ Neil Pert, Bootsy Collins and Paul McCartney”. Even fossils like John Paul Jones jumped at the opportunity to work with two veterans like Joshua Homme and Dave Grohl, who were taking time off from their respective bands, in order to work produce the supergroup known as Them Crooked Vultures. And with rock giants like Faith No More, Primus and the Pixies touring again, there looks to be more experimental music, influenced by Prog, then this concert going, music loving freak can get his hands on.</span></cite></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><cite><span style="font-style: normal;">-The Dead Guy<br /></span></cite></p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-4047830610060206452010-11-13T15:58:00.005-05:002010-12-04T20:56:01.789-05:00Jukebox Throwdown: The Deftones "One Weak" from the album "Adrenaline"<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuCfGItXJM3hJVXbMzVLVlOd8y6puH3EepiJ3AiSemh_OswC-WbVBVCa6HMFnCQ6zKh7NowgOrIzXse7d7iOKnBQSfNUDFj6shjvtcxRHj_KvIVsUrKUUBMVh3U8DuuFcoBW46aCR0-VFh/s1600/adrenaline_cover.jpg"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span></span></a><br /></div><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">It seems as though many posts lately have been born from conversations between Shannon and The Dead Guy, and this one is no exception. Over the course of the past few weeks, we have been tossing around the idea of writing posts which are based on our interpretation and impressions of song lyrics. We decided to go ahead and try it after our facebook pals told us they liked the idea, so here it is. With no further ado, we give you Jukebox Throwdown.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Let us know what you think.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuCfGItXJM3hJVXbMzVLVlOd8y6puH3EepiJ3AiSemh_OswC-WbVBVCa6HMFnCQ6zKh7NowgOrIzXse7d7iOKnBQSfNUDFj6shjvtcxRHj_KvIVsUrKUUBMVh3U8DuuFcoBW46aCR0-VFh/s1600/adrenaline_cover.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 295px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuCfGItXJM3hJVXbMzVLVlOd8y6puH3EepiJ3AiSemh_OswC-WbVBVCa6HMFnCQ6zKh7NowgOrIzXse7d7iOKnBQSfNUDFj6shjvtcxRHj_KvIVsUrKUUBMVh3U8DuuFcoBW46aCR0-VFh/s320/adrenaline_cover.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5539142144472475138" border="0" /></a><br /><!--[if gte 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priority="32" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:none; mso-hyphenate:none; text-autospace:ideograph-other; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="Standard"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:85%;" >One Weak</span><span style=";font-family:";font-size:85%;" ><br /></span></p><p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="Standard"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style=";font-family:";" >by: the Deftones</span></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="Standard"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style=";font-family:";" >Nerve - Here I born, feeding on his lung<br />Verve - Is his curse, because he wanted to meet Christ alone<br />Bitch - you're no good, we could be so flown<br />Misunderstood - we could be your God<br />There in my bones, we could be so flown<br />Misunderstood - because he wanted to meet Christ alone<br />But you will...<br /><br />Ah you'll never find me - breach unborn<br />Never, come here watch me burn<br />Never, bitch cause your scars show<br />Never, will I burn<br /><br />Under, beneath the floor<br />Before, his face 'cause your no good<br />We could have been like one<br />Fuck it!<br /><br />Bitch, you feel sore, we could be so flown<br />Misunderstood - because he wanted to meet Christ alone<br />But you will...<br /><br />Ah you'll never find me - breach unborn<br />Never, sit and watch me burn<br />Never, bitch cause your scars show<br />Never, will I burn, will I burn, will I burn, will I burn<br /><br />Try won't you'll never, Beg don't (3x)<br />Even waste your time!!!</span></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="Standard"><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">The song “One Weak” by the Deftones is a song that has always resonated with me personally. One of the great thing about the Deftones is Chino's ability to write song that are lyrically ambiguous but saliently powerful when personally interpreted, much like a Rorschach test. To me this song is about a creative person, such as a poet or painter, and their view of the spiritual trappings of organized religion. Verve, simply means, <a name="hotword9"></a><a name="hotword8"></a>“enthusiasm <a name="hotword7"></a>or <a name="hotword6"></a>vigor, <a name="hotword5"></a>as <a name="hotword4"></a>in <a name="hotword3"></a>literary <a name="hotword2"></a>or <a name="hotword1"></a>artistic <a name="hotword"></a>work”. So the line, “Verve- is his curse” could be expressing how some artists, like myself, see their inspiration as something that originates from within but is trans-personal, and maybe afford a deeper understanding of this energy, which dogmatic religions personify as God. The lyrics also suggest that organized religion has attempted to fill the void, a residual effect of a child losing their innocence which once connected them to this energy, by becoming God to it followers, “Misunderstood - we could be your God.”.</p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style=""> </span>In this song the word “bitch” seems to delineating organized religion or specifically the Catholic Church. The lyrics “Bitch - you're no good, we could be so flown”, may refer to the feeling that if religious leaders and artists worked together humanity could be taken to new heights. Just look at Renaissance art, and think of the possibilities if those artists where given full artistic freedom. If that was the case, the Renaissance could have been the ultimate paradigm shift in human consciousness and unity, “We could have been like one... Fuck it!”.<span style=""> </span>Chino proceeds to write, “Ah you'll never find me - breach unborn. Never, sit and watch me burn. Never, bitch cause your scars show?”, this seems to refer to religious fervor, for example when it comes to a topic like abortion, or as he ambiguously refers to it the “breach” of the “unborn”. It sheds light on the tenancy of the pious to criticize others decisions, and suggests that this is not a divine path toward this energy that the holier-than-thou call God. The line, “your scare show.” may also refer to the hideous acts of violence and ignorance perpetrated<span style=""> </span>by an institution that presents itself as infallibly righteous.</p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style=""> </span>You could make the argument that the title of the song,<span style=""> </span>“One Weak”, refers to an idea that a spiritual path of one, may appear “weak” to the pious follower, even though mentally the artists may have a leg up on the establishment. The problem may lie with the masses of public life, who when confronted by an artist, might fail to see beyond the ideal of just an individual that creates aesthetically pleasing images, “Misunderstood - because he wanted to meet Christ alone”. It is the artists who attempts to bring to the surface the inner worlds of suppressed turmoil as something to learn form, not to feel guilty about. As Alan Watts once said, “Christianity has made guilt into a virtue.” The artists experiments with, communes, and channels the unconditional love of the universe out toward humanity on an attempt to guide toward a more spiritually connected toward all the energies of the universe. It may be interesting to point out that the album was originally titled “Communion” before it was change to Adrenaline, and that the cover art uses a baby aspirator, a device used to remove mucus and other and other “obstructions” from the respiratory system.</p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">-DG</p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: georgia;"> </p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: georgia;"> </p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: georgia;"> </p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: georgia;"> </p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: georgia;"><br /></p><p class="Standard" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: georgia;"><br /></p><p class="Standard" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;">While I do not directly disagree with DG’s interpretation of this song as a commentary on religion, I would like to offer another interpretation.<span style=""> </span>If we take the lyrics as they come, we can see a certain personal anguish which I believe is working in conjunction with the religious imagery to obscure itself.</p> <p class="Standard" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;">The theme of betrayal and loss of love is fairly apparent to me as in the lyrics “We could have been as one.”<span style=""> </span>And “Don’t try, you’ll never beg, don’t even waste your time.”</p> <p class="Standard" face="georgia" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;" class="Standard">I agree that there is a sense of this song being about the loss of life, but I am not sure that it is a direct reference to abortion.<span style=""> </span>It seems more likely to me that the image of a breach birth, which is a very difficult way to create a life, is being used metaphorically as a way to express the author’s anguish over someone giving up on something difficult such as a lover betraying him.<span style=""> </span>This interpretation is further supported by the lyrics:</p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;" class="Standard"> </p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;" class="Standard"><span style=""> </span>“Under, beneath the floor, </p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;" class="Standard">Before, his face 'cause you’re no good </p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;" class="Standard">We could have been like one,</p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;" class="Standard"><span style=""> </span>Fuck it! </p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;" class="Standard">Bitch, you feel sore, we could be so flown.”<span style=""> </span><span style=""><br /><br /></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;" class="Standard"><span style="">When looking at these lyrics, I think a case could be made that the author is lamenting having been abandoned by someone he loved.<span style=""> </span>“Under”, “Beneath” and “Before his face, cause you’re no good” all seem to indicate that the subject of the lyrics, if we take it to be about a lover or ex-lover, has been sleeping with someone other than the author, and that the author is a great deal of pain over this.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;" class="Standard"><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;" class="Standard"><span style="">Additionally, the author repeatedly makes reference to being unfindable to the subject, as though they are afraid that the subject will someday want to find them again.<span style=""> </span>The references to showing scars could be taken as another metaphorical reference to lifting of a veil that occurs when one is so hurt by someone about whom they care that they then become able to see that person’s flaws in a way that they were unable to before.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p face="georgia" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="Standard"><span style=""> </span></p> <p face="georgia" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="Standard"><span style="">Of course, this interpretation runs into a bit of trouble when we are faced with the line “he wanted to meet Christ alone”, but perhaps these words are not as troublesome as they appear.<span style=""> </span>One could safely argue that, when taken within the context of the larger work, they may refer to the subject’s new lover leaving them to be alone, or even dying.<span style=""> </span>This makes more sense when you consider that the rest of the song could be taken to indicate a desire to lose contact with an ex-lover.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p face="georgia" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="Standard"><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: georgia;" class="Standard"><span style="">Finally, to address the title, “One Weak”, that in and of itself is a play in words which could be taken to either delineate a period of time, or a personal weakness.<span style=""> </span>Both possibilities can be made to work with my preceding interpretation.<span style=""> </span>If we look at the title to be a length of time, it can be taken to measure the amount of time the author spent with the subject, the amount time they have been away from the subject, or the amount of time the subject spent betraying the author.<span style=""> </span>If we take it to indicate personal weakness, it can be taken as a statement about either the subject or author’s state of being.<span style=""> </span>Perhaps the author sees the subject as being weak when they once appeared strong or perhaps the author sees themselves as being weak in the face of betrayal.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: georgia;" class="Standard"><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: georgia;" class="Standard"><span style="">-Shannon</span></p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-53964175637590589472010-11-12T22:46:00.016-05:002010-11-12T23:19:25.731-05:00Barbie's Rock Bottom Playset #2<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7DXQKmzWplJ_hFRlfJ-xmTaUj8WxjcO1Yyb3CPCLnArC2M-bddvHwGTzNpXS_Crk86_zMKlLqSWB7aW5PNNJAqr10smDyXyji9kJ0Y2LvgetE7JxcZdHcN7NJniU1yvGBjJqGyxHxIouT/s1600/gloryhole11.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 279px; height: 320px;" 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mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:100%;" ><br />When last we left our delightful heroine, Barbie, she was unemployed and facing eviction. She spent most of her days crying into her snuggie and wishing she was dead. Fortunately though, the hands of fate smiled up her one day when she accepted a blind date with a friend of Midge's husband. Barbie was a little surprised when he picked her up and took her to a porn shop but, ever the optimist, she persisted with the date.<br /><br />It was when she visited the restroom of the shop that she discovered something quite shocking. Barbie found a glory hole! Even though she had majored in the arts, Barbie had taken one economics class in college, and that was quite enough to know that sex always sells. Seeing a delightful opportunity to dig herself out of debt, Barbie got her hair bleached (because who better to give a blow job than a blond?), buried her dignity somewhere deep within her, and went to work. At $5 a job, the pay is low, but it's tax free and every little bit helps!</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Introducing: Gloryhole Barbie!</span><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdjHx_cpM7IjT7-8cfvI8muSsVtcrYRPYfBsLunbBiB_8_YL5qdaKhr-ZTL1DMCNP_SoLvFSaax4kg3eBtrS9PRk2oChjMwzqS8RSowmfBW2PDF6PKSCf5j-2DfIucBBuC_13Xy4TQztVF/s1600/gloryhole10.jpg"><br /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimglNworo04IjE9XhM7u5oV1MuhKCxc3dpexrqoXrU_TqE1tBLug02dxTbaVR8ErS181qO9f6ziqhnW5VKnRhIKUZCh84Vtc7bXxE6cM0UKMTaHg3nw6-R6yx67-291pb9cr_TfCMO7U7B/s1600/gloryhole7.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimglNworo04IjE9XhM7u5oV1MuhKCxc3dpexrqoXrU_TqE1tBLug02dxTbaVR8ErS181qO9f6ziqhnW5VKnRhIKUZCh84Vtc7bXxE6cM0UKMTaHg3nw6-R6yx67-291pb9cr_TfCMO7U7B/s320/gloryhole7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538878098776479858" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Barbie is eager to please with her slutty outfit and her newly blond hair!</span></span></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdZcSBn6ikxg8bAK10DfZHBqffYbWM5xb2xlvZbdxZrytK-WKWNTo5XzRd6pj3byCkAHjX7cqwUj9ptmOBUcAJ1-XPeFQISpADsDSP5CtyJkRoh3LdJYktXpD9I4NrMw4BrBONKWIsagir/s1600/gloryhole5.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdZcSBn6ikxg8bAK10DfZHBqffYbWM5xb2xlvZbdxZrytK-WKWNTo5XzRd6pj3byCkAHjX7cqwUj9ptmOBUcAJ1-XPeFQISpADsDSP5CtyJkRoh3LdJYktXpD9I4NrMw4BrBONKWIsagir/s320/gloryhole5.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538877804532145698" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">A much needed break!</span></span></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7xX9Mh7ZlxdjFXcnhcfCBa465KQToIrz2ji9YUKPz8WCwA-8FwPbLBSXDuxPuE7Gyh6i01Jd23wx208vq-dLjBbWxLpNXLJOBbT-HwBVnPFRTm7vU50TezTIKY1FCkDgDxH8rf1gUeSvG/s1600/gloryhole4.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7xX9Mh7ZlxdjFXcnhcfCBa465KQToIrz2ji9YUKPz8WCwA-8FwPbLBSXDuxPuE7Gyh6i01Jd23wx208vq-dLjBbWxLpNXLJOBbT-HwBVnPFRTm7vU50TezTIKY1FCkDgDxH8rf1gUeSvG/s320/gloryhole4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538877657024519074" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Between "clients" , Barbie likes to relax on the toilet and read the stimulating graffiti. </span></span></span><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixXcdq7kwoB3BOQyehVHmaVN1WZntZkQCm-dVSbxvJY12bVghqWAcYg6GtDP7hFC2twotlla3u8qp42riFnfxRYhfveBmUUjttGZNiL0Q86al0m576tU7o7YItoPysq2fDErxjzhgU2WgU/s1600/gloryhole3.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixXcdq7kwoB3BOQyehVHmaVN1WZntZkQCm-dVSbxvJY12bVghqWAcYg6GtDP7hFC2twotlla3u8qp42riFnfxRYhfveBmUUjttGZNiL0Q86al0m576tU7o7YItoPysq2fDErxjzhgU2WgU/s320/gloryhole3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538877529680899954" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">Barbie is busiest during the midday lunch hour, when married men visit her in droves.<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhySTbfaZGzVq2yi14GfPfkpiLXVWBdofO573QuJeWHBr-3JmGvtuv-QVR5pPIfGgdJLLz-JFF2VQ5tiHxR4o16LkVVEAfwGLqJNh2GC7KLvwqwU4bm2qXXZJdygRincv0mZOCsQd7I9UjW/s1600/gloryhole2.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhySTbfaZGzVq2yi14GfPfkpiLXVWBdofO573QuJeWHBr-3JmGvtuv-QVR5pPIfGgdJLLz-JFF2VQ5tiHxR4o16LkVVEAfwGLqJNh2GC7KLvwqwU4bm2qXXZJdygRincv0mZOCsQd7I9UjW/s320/gloryhole2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538877387479852338" border="0" /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></a><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">It's hard to keep smiling when your jaw is cramping, but Barbie is a real trooper!<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc861yFqpu7hpfF1QikzbDTKjiLJgs29kxgEdy3e1ko3UlkkHhU3-5k-nqx1_KmkdAq83fo4kQezg7OuZPFEoAbtnkNQuEkI6o56FNT6-heR0npYGacqVHYER4j-VuzGf-xuJDr3qOuvch/s1600/gloryhole1.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 254px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc861yFqpu7hpfF1QikzbDTKjiLJgs29kxgEdy3e1ko3UlkkHhU3-5k-nqx1_KmkdAq83fo4kQezg7OuZPFEoAbtnkNQuEkI6o56FNT6-heR0npYGacqVHYER4j-VuzGf-xuJDr3qOuvch/s320/gloryhole1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538877256163051474" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">Although it isn't exactly her "dream job", Barbie is certain that this is better than data entry or waiting tables!<br /><br /></span></span></span></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdjHx_cpM7IjT7-8cfvI8muSsVtcrYRPYfBsLunbBiB_8_YL5qdaKhr-ZTL1DMCNP_SoLvFSaax4kg3eBtrS9PRk2oChjMwzqS8RSowmfBW2PDF6PKSCf5j-2DfIucBBuC_13Xy4TQztVF/s1600/gloryhole10.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdjHx_cpM7IjT7-8cfvI8muSsVtcrYRPYfBsLunbBiB_8_YL5qdaKhr-ZTL1DMCNP_SoLvFSaax4kg3eBtrS9PRk2oChjMwzqS8RSowmfBW2PDF6PKSCf5j-2DfIucBBuC_13Xy4TQztVF/s320/gloryhole10.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538878244229194946" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">Phew. After a rough shift, Barbie likes to eat a few oxys and take a nap on the floor.</span></span></span><br /></div>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-19829010855579641902010-11-10T15:40:00.001-05:002010-12-14T21:56:24.144-05:00The Tea Party Movement: Republicans were Libertarians for Halloween This Year<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> 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mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I don't vote, but I have been following politics since high school, back when Craig Killborn was still hosting the Daily Show. A lot of people in this country get their information from the fevered egos of pundits, politicians, and pastors, which litter the 24-hour cable new cycle of insanity and stupidity. I, on the other hand, who consider myself to be an evolved being, who only concerns himself with the truth, tends to trust the comical satirists that have never steered me wrong: from the likes of George Carlin and Bill Hicks all the way to the new bearers of the torch of truth with the likes of David Cross and Jon Stewart.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Now I understand that many people are frustrated, not so much where the country is going, but like children in the back seat we just want to know, “Are we there yet!”. Let's not forget that a man who claimed to be our “President” in 2000, who I will refer to as Governor Bush, whether he likes it or not, drove this entire republic toward the Bible Belt in a Hummer that ran on the tears of military families, the American Dream, and the largest budget surplus in American History. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Like I said earlier I don't vote, so I did not participate in electing Obama, who seemed like nothing more than just another demagogue disguised as a populist. The difference is that I'm not upset with what Obama has done, but the order in which he has done it. I think that Health Care is important, but also the most polarizing agenda of this administration. Now granted since many Democrats have become unemployed since November 4th with the rest of the country, in retrospect Healthcare may be a small victory, if, and only if, it is reformed and refined until the country is happy with it. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">As a result, this chaos and confusion has made it easier for even sane people, like me, to see a part of the Tea Party agenda, which has quickly been diminished due to the nut jobs and lunatics, reflected in myself. The problems with the Tea Party become evident when one can, as Bill Hick put it, “squeegee your third eye.” of perception and call bullshit when you see it. As a result, I see the Tea Party as nothing more than a Libertarians grassroots movement which has been high jacked, not by fiscal conservatives, like Ron Paul, but by loud mouthed <i>social</i> conservatives like Sarah Palin and Christine O'Donnell, who are using a fiscal libertarian front to conceal their hideous social agendas. I think all of the sane Americans out there will feel a deep emotional resonance when I say... FUCK THESE ASSHOLES.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">These fevered egos on steroids respond to hot topics in the news cycle like a couple of 16 year olds in a chat room, too busy arguing over which Jonas brother is the cutest instead of discussing topics of substance. Perhaps this would be more evident to the general public if we actually presented our news to the public discourse in a rational atmosphere, instead of our overly sensational, and intentionally frightening, new cycle, which I believe Jon Stewart referred to as, “The country’s 24 hour political pundit perpetual panic conflictinator.” </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Even when it comes to the news topics we do get, which honestly, garner no real air time, like for instance, whether or not a pastor in Florida should be allowed to burn a Quran on September 11<sup>th,</sup> It is evident that political hacks, such as Sarah Palin, fail the litmus test when they respond with, “People have a constitutional right to burn a Quran if they want to, but doing so is intensive and unnecessary – much like building a mosque a ground zero.” Oh Sarah, you were so close! That almost sounded like a thought out, rational political statement. But as usual y'all act like fucking children. These are not the kind of people I want running my country. Hey Sarah, Iran is threatening Israel with a nuclear strike! What are you going to do? “Well...I'm going to delete them from my facebook, shortly after I sling some verbal diarrhea.” </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Furthermore, being a rational person who considers himself, politically, to be an independent moderate, who is seemingly surrounded by a sea of chaotic, irrational, conspiratorial lunatics on both sides of the political spectrum, I'd have to say that I don't really have much faith in my country or fellow Americans anymore, except of course, for the 215,000 rational, hard working citizens that showed up for sanity in Washington D.C. on October 30<sup>th</sup>. These are the “real” Americans, or at least the ones that make living in this country worthwhile. The Americans that Sarah Palin referred to as the “real” Americans are exactly the people I avoid entirely and wouldn't even invite into my home. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Also, I'm so sick of hearing about how the Republicans and Tea party support the “little guy”, and how the republicans “won” the mid-term. First of all, the idea that ANY political candidate could represent any of us is a logical fallacy. Both parties are filled with rich cocksuckers who couldn’t be bothered to give two shits about you or me. In fact, the only difference between Republicans and Democrats, besides their social stances, which <i>I</i> could give two shits about, is the means in which they acquire their wealth. Democrats are usually self starters who work hard to acquire their wealth, while the Republicans have amassed the largest silver spoon collection in the history of the world. Secondly, the Republicans didn't win, as much as the Democrats lost. What I mean by that is more people were voting against the Democrats then for the Republicans. And the Tea party candidates only won because they ran as... Republicans! Let's see how many of these pricks would have won if they had ran as Independents, probably none.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">One of the problems, which arose from the “Historic” election in 2008, was the idea that it was more historic than superficial. More people in this country responded favorably to the political candidate that was either “younger” or “experienced” depending on their demographic, or had the same skin color or genitalia as them. Also, to all of the women out there who got excited about a female in the White House, let it be known that Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin are the worst role models for woman since Kate Moss and Martha Stewart. Whoever thinks that these are “strong women” needs to seriously have their head examined. Both of these “things” bear no resemblance to the everyday working class women and mothers of America. They don't empower other women, but continually perpetuate the idea that to compete with men you have to act like them.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">This past mid- term was no exception. If anything it shows how much America is in dire need of a credible third party, and I don't believe it is the Tea Party, since it can't stand on its own without the GOP. The current system belittles the independent voter throughout the entire primary process, since it does not allow them to participate, and values them only in the final weeks and months running up to the actual election. If we want to do anything to restore this republic we need to seriously think about the topic of campaign finance reform, and must pass tougher laws. Attempts at campaign reform in recent years have been at best sparse and a worst a joke. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">For instance, In 2002 the Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act that was sponsor by Senators <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russell_Feingold">Russell Feingold</a> (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Democratic_Party">D</a>-<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wisconsin">WI</a>) and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_McCain">John McCain</a> (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Republican_Party">R</a>-<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arizona">AZ</a>), which was intended to combat corruption, restricted the quantity and regulated the content and timing of political speech, which did nothing but help incumbents like McCain and Fiengold, since they had other outlets for self promotion. They also added a Millionaires Amendment, which punished wealthy, self promoting candidates who could finance their campaigns without the aid of soft money from special interest groups. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">The Tea party started out as a good idea, but as time has passed it has become a caricature of itself, which has lost focus. I agree that we should begin to vote out any and all incumbents, especially those that are holding the political process hostage. The only difference is that I believe if we want any real change we should start giving third party candidates and independents a chance to prove themselves instead of this insane political pendulum where we keep swinging from one extreme to the other once we get tired of a party.<br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">-The Dead Guy<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-91264963302425183222010-11-09T22:06:00.000-05:002010-11-10T16:05:23.967-05:00Enjoy the First installment of Pillow Talk with Shannon and the Dead Guy!This Week, we discuss the blogosphere's reaction to a 5 year old dressed as Daphne from Scooby Do<br />....enjoy!<br /><br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzOaEZBWODseX8Ahab5H5ZIgs0O41vpLuyA6PqIwVOGaMY8MegFCEKZBUVModJNxKmXizHeQKu3wZfiDiMRsw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-46831055334188758692010-11-09T13:05:00.000-05:002010-11-09T13:15:44.583-05:00Remember That Time We All Blew Up Over a Kid's Costume and Got It All Wrong?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> 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{mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">For many children, and some adults, Halloween is a time of fantasy and freedom.<span style=""> </span>It’s the one night of the year when anyone can decide to be anything, even if that means pushing beyond the limits of reality.<span style=""> </span>We frequently see children dressed as witches, fairies, serial killers, action heroes, ninjas and pirates, not to mention a whole host of inanimate objects.<span style=""> </span>One of the things that has seemed so magical about Halloween to me is that it is the one night out of the year when the whole country seems to live by “kid rules”.<span style=""> </span>What I mean by “kid rules” is simply this: when you are a child, you are free to be imaginative and open without the burden of an adult understanding of the world.<span style=""> </span>A 6 year old who dresses up as Superman or a princess in the course of imaginative play may have an awareness of the fact that they are not likely to develop the ability to fly or to kiss a frog and get a prince, but they are also not concerned about such things.<span style=""> </span>They are simply enjoying the act of imagining.<span style=""> </span>On Halloween, I’ve always felt that we all get that freedom, regardless of how old we are.<span style=""> </span>I think that, if we polled many adults and asked them if they agreed with this assessment, they would say yes.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Why then, is the world so up in arms over <a href="http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/">this kid</a>?<span style=""> </span>For those of you who are unaware or don’t feel like looking at the link, a mom in Lee’s Summit, MO has written in her blog about her 5 year old son’s decision to dress as Daphne from Scooby Doo this Halloween, and the reaction to his costume from some of the other mothers at his preschool.<span style=""> </span>According to the mom, whose name is Sarah, some of the other mothers were pretty disdainful toward her for allowing her son to dress like a female character.<span style=""> </span>One even seemed to indicate that Sarah should have forbidden the costume in order to make sure that her son understood that he is not a girl.<span style=""> </span>In short, these moms were acting like total dicks, but may be not in the way we think they were.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Many people have reacted to Sarah’s blog with a hearty “who cares if your son is gay?”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Others have reacted with the standard “OMG! You’re crazy. He’s going to now catch the gay!”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And now, we have on our hands the standard issue “Is it ok to be gay” debate, which leads to the even more annoying, ‘is it ok to encourage your kid to be gay” debate.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Neither of these debates are new, and neither of them are wrong, per say.<span style=""> </span>However, neither of them should even apply here.<span style=""> </span>While I think it is always a good idea to discuss issues of tolerance for those with different sexual orientations from our own and for those with different senses of identity from our own, I think it’s total bullshit that we are discussing this boy’s sexuality based on his Halloween costume. Furthermore, I think that, by doing this, we are ignoring several larger issues and actually continuing to damage the way our society approaches the gay and transgendered communities.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I know it may seem odd to say that people speaking out on behalf of a little boy’s seemingly homosexual tendencies is damaging to the gay and transgendered communities, but bear with me here.<span style=""> </span>First of all, a five year old child’s desire to be a female cartoon character does not indicate that he will always and forever want to dress like a fem.<span style=""> </span>Think about all the things that you played at as a child.<span style=""> </span>If you can tell me honestly that you’ve grown up to be all these things, then I will grant you a pass on this one.<span style=""> </span>You’re probably too busy being a firefighter/superhero/frog/teacher/astronaut to worry about the internet anyway.<span style=""> </span>Since most of you are not in that category though, allow me to let you all in on a little secret: imaginative play does not always indicate anything other than imagination.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s focus on the bigger issue here.<span style=""> </span>Not all transgendered people are gay.<span style=""> </span>Many individuals who are transgendered are straight.<span style=""> </span>This may seem like a bit of a statement of the obvious, but the fact that a little boy’s costume has caused so many people to come forward to discuss his potential homosexuality indicates that we are in drastic need of a whole lot more understanding here.<span style=""> </span>So, let’s disregard the fact that his costume choice does not necessarily dictate that he is or will be transsexual or transgendered, and talk about the fact that gender identity and sexuality are not the same thing and when we view them as the same, we are damaging everyone by giving in to the same kind of limited and limiting thinking which has relegated both communities to the fringes of society for a very long time.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">You see, the thing is that gender issues are not about sex.<span style=""> </span>They are about identity.<span style=""> </span>Identity, as anyone but the most vapid among us can demonstrate, is an extremely complex thing and sexuality is only one small part of that.<span style=""> </span>When we view cross dressing as an indication of someone’s sexual preference, we are limiting that person and refusing to gain a real understanding of who they are.<span style=""> </span>Likewise, when we view someone’s sexuality as the sole factor in their identity, we are limiting them without understanding them. Even if the intention behind it is to be helpful or supportive, which is certainly the case with most of the commenters on Sarah’s blog, the message is still a little bit wonky.<span style=""> </span>What we are saying when we do this is that gay and transgendered people are different enough from what is normal to be placed into a flat two dimensional category which is relegated to the side and that one defining aspect is good enough for them.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It’s bad enough that we allow gender norms to dictate what is considered normal in our most superficial pursuits, but when we allow them to define an extremely diverse group of people as “others”, we are allowing them to dictate entire personalities.<span style=""> </span>I wonder how any straight person who does not break gender norms in any way would feel if they were solely defined by one small factor of their personal identity.<span style=""> </span>Let’s say, for instance, that Joe Blow is a straight male who likes to wear t-shirts.<span style=""> </span>It would be wholly ridiculous if we looked at Joe over there and said “The fact that Joe wears T-shirts is the most important thing about him and dictates a variety of unrelated facts, therefore, when considering Joe, we need only consider his T-shirt.”<span style=""> </span>Why then, do we do this to people who break gender norms? Are they suddenly not as complex and interesting as the rest of us?<span style=""> </span>Or is it because somewhere, deep inside ourselves, we are terrified that we are not complex enough so we limit others as a defense? I suspect it is the latter, and that this mentality is exactly what is leading an entire country full of adults to go batshit insane over a 5 year old’s Halloween costume.<span style=""><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">-Shannon<br /></span></p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-70606391409032839862010-10-30T23:39:00.001-04:002010-11-12T23:11:44.434-05:00New For 2010: Barbie's Rock Bottom Playset<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> 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</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--><i style="">A few weeks ago, TDG and I got into a discussion about that great bastion of American girlhood: The Barbie Doll.<span style=""> </span>I explained that, as a feminist, I never felt threatened, limited or inadequate while playing with <span style=""> </span>her as she had a variety of jobs, never had to choose between being pretty or smart, and was an excellent canvas upon which I could express my interest in fashion.<span style=""> </span>Somehow, this conversation wandered into the territory of wondering what sorts of jobs Barbie would have in our current economy.<span style=""> </span>I was inspired by our talk and by my own nostalgia so I decided to reinvigorate my love of altering Barbie’s appearance to create a few new looks and professions.<span style=""> </span>With that in mind, I bring you the first in my series of Barbies Gone Bad:</i><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><i style=""><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-family:georgia;">Unemployment Barbie</span></span></i></p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> 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mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">In 2010, Barbara Millicent Roberts was a recent college grad with big dreams and a new credit card. After receiving her bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education, Barbie decided that it was high time that she moved out on her own so she accepted her best friend Midge’s suggestion that they rent an apartment together.<span style=""> </span>High on the excitement of their new lives, the girls eagerly used their credit cards to purchase new furniture and décor for their apartment and began pounding the pavement for jobs.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Unfortunately for Barbie, finding a teaching job proved more difficult than she’d been led to believe and, come the following September, she was still unemployed and her boyfriend, Ken, had been shipped off to Afghanistan while Midge, faced with the similar problem of being educated but under experienced had moved out to become a trophy wife to an aging dot-com millionaire who she met while serving cocktails in a “gentleman’s club.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Faced with losing her apartment and having her utilities turned off, Barbie did what any sensible American would do and opened more lines of credit.<span style=""> </span>All was ok for awhile until her bank increased her interest rate to an exorbitant amount and Barbie was forced to turn to the government for assistance. Her unemployment check covers her rent, but not much else. Now, faced with student loans in deferment and with most of her earthly belongings repossessed, Barbie spends most of her days staring wistfully at her useless degree and crying into her snuggie.<span style=""> </span>Poor Barbie!</p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjj_CjuJaHCRFQdqOV5q7LGaTnI2tEU8rFL9uxOoosRrf-Cr8jymUikIlBwp5jh18r61FGkjrPzEiUM3XDYUDQFUh7sgSpI8fsXUhLGVW6zPwqWmvRMj1E5AgUap2t9B99b3YZkC_v5sS0/s1600/barbie+full.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 274px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjj_CjuJaHCRFQdqOV5q7LGaTnI2tEU8rFL9uxOoosRrf-Cr8jymUikIlBwp5jh18r61FGkjrPzEiUM3XDYUDQFUh7sgSpI8fsXUhLGVW6zPwqWmvRMj1E5AgUap2t9B99b3YZkC_v5sS0/s320/barbie+full.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5534050314240396226" border="0" /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >Unemployment Barbie comes complete with an unfurnished room and a few motivational posters to keep her smiling as she contemplates turning tricks to avoid foreclosure.</span><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjj_CjuJaHCRFQdqOV5q7LGaTnI2tEU8rFL9uxOoosRrf-Cr8jymUikIlBwp5jh18r61FGkjrPzEiUM3XDYUDQFUh7sgSpI8fsXUhLGVW6zPwqWmvRMj1E5AgUap2t9B99b3YZkC_v5sS0/s1600/barbie+full.jpg"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLPmSkf-HqpKSPkzOz-j42KK7k9kzFyeEO1fyn-Y1FNocIZXzKQ5YUwLbs0Xvf0CaAJL1FQy0JtZwZIB_v8R8FbztQVJALC4PWm0S5siOk4qO65tn0uLELyDNI2KgDhlA9bJ7PuIqE5qH_/s1600/Barbie+long+right.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLPmSkf-HqpKSPkzOz-j42KK7k9kzFyeEO1fyn-Y1FNocIZXzKQ5YUwLbs0Xvf0CaAJL1FQy0JtZwZIB_v8R8FbztQVJALC4PWm0S5siOk4qO65tn0uLELyDNI2KgDhlA9bJ7PuIqE5qH_/s320/Barbie+long+right.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5534050579911850018" border="0" /></a></p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >Unemployment Barbie may not reach the heights of fashion to which she was once accustomed in her tear and coffee stained snuggie, but she sure does save time by never bathing or leaving the house.</span><br /></p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjC_8ooAl-9v3XyOAAyzYHXpRH1zz3JnZ77X4Q0QsTZxQOWSvmepTUNpgRR3x4ys01D61c4BlLmi6xiP_M_2gFmoTVwEyP28j96UPEDSkH0aPuklxFvo4AhymJF1evTkF9gggS0YLZb9fq/s1600/Barbie+Close+Up.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjC_8ooAl-9v3XyOAAyzYHXpRH1zz3JnZ77X4Q0QsTZxQOWSvmepTUNpgRR3x4ys01D61c4BlLmi6xiP_M_2gFmoTVwEyP28j96UPEDSkH0aPuklxFvo4AhymJF1evTkF9gggS0YLZb9fq/s320/Barbie+Close+Up.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5534050809435833378" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" ><span style="font-family:georgia;">Unemployment Barbie comes complete with her very own useless degree and government issued check.</span></span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">-Shannon (Who hopes she doesn't get sued)<br /></div></div>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-9631742852985345702010-10-30T20:34:00.000-04:002010-10-30T20:35:12.190-04:00The Child Left Behind: Educating our Children out of their Creativity<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> 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mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">As a creative person living in America, which has seemingly become a society that squashes creativity by camouflaging indoctrination as education, it baffles my mind that people are bewildered as to how our country arrived at its current state of anti intellectualism and creative decay. It seems to me that we have built an entire education system predicated on good grades and the regurgitation of knowledge, which, if you've ever watched HBO's Assume The Position with Robert Wuhl, you know that most of what is taught as American history is at best sensationalized and at worst wholly fictional. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><a name="hotword26"></a><a name="hotword25"></a><a name="hotword24"></a><a name="hotword23"></a><a name="hotword22"></a><a name="hotword21"></a><a name="hotword20"></a><a name="hotword19"></a><a name="hotword18"></a><a name="hotword17"></a><a name="hotword16"></a><a name="hotword15"></a><a name="hotword14"></a><a name="hotword13"></a><a name="hotword12"></a><a name="hotword11"></a><a name="hotword10"></a><a name="hotword9"></a><a name="hotword8"></a><a name="hotword7"></a><a name="hotword6"></a><a name="hotword5"></a><a name="hotword4"></a>The problem with creativity in America is that most people don't know what creativity is. Creativity is usually defined as: the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc. Sir Ken Robinson, who has spent a great deal of time pointing out the short comings of an outdated educational system, defines it simply as, “the process of having original ideas that have value.” The common misconception is that creativity is localized, that it only exists in certain “gifted” people. The reason we have this misconception is because our educational system isolates creative thinking to the humanities, and fails to see that creativity is utilized in all schools of thought. Any individual at, or striving toward, the pinnacle of his discipline must be an innovator. They must create original ideas in order to evolve within their disciple and within their society. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">We've indoctrinated people to think that only some people are creative, and that “I'm not one of them.”. It breaks my heart when I'm drawing out in a bar and someone tells me they can't draw, or that they use to draw but now they can only draw stick figures, and that, “You’re very talented”. Usually I'll respond that what they perceive as “talent” is nothing more than the ability to let go. The most important part of the creative process is taking chances. When I draw I take a chance, I experiment by trying something new and unknown. This is a process that comes naturally to a child. Children aren't afraid to take chances, they're not afraid of being “wrong”, because the concept of right or wrong does not exists in their pure state of enchantment. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">In psychology there is a state of being called the “Oceanic Feeling”. This idea came to fruition during a correspondence between Sigmund Freud and Romain Rolland. After reading <i>The Future of an Illusion</i> Romain Rolland wrote to Freud: "By religious feeling, what I mean—altogether independently of any dogma, any Credo, any organization of the Church, any Holy Scripture, any hope for personal salvation, etc.—the simple and direct fact of a feeling of 'the eternal' (which may very well not be eternal, but simply without perceptible limits, and as if oceanic).</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">This feeling is in truth subjective in nature. It is a contact." Rolland believed that this feeling was the root of all religious energy. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I would like to expand on Rolland’s idea by purposing that many of our external spiritual practices may be an attempt to fill the void that the “oceanic feeling”, which we possessed as children, once filled. And it is this specific sensation, which Rolland described as, “an indissoluble bond, of being one with the external world as a whole” which may motivate many of our spiritual practices. I would also speculate that what may make artists unique is their ease at reconnecting with the purity of this spiritual state of consciousness, allowing them to commune with something wholly unknown and possibly eternal. This may be why visual artists feel compelled to draw, writers write poetry, and religious folk pray and attend church. <span style=""> </span>Likewise, as appreciators of art we may be connecting with this feeling whenever we attend a gallery, read a book or watch a film. The methodology may be different but the emotional and spiritual content may very well be the same.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">As a result, Freud mentions this correspondence in his book <i>Civilization and Its Discontents</i>, and postulated that this oceanic feeling may dwell within in the primitive ego and, as a result of assimilation; it inevitably fades to a "shrunken residue" as a child is indoctrinated to accept consensus reality. The development of the ego is necessary for a child, but I think the western tendency to overvalue the ego has lead the west to lose touch with the unconscious inner world, which is just as important. So it is possible that practicing any spiritual discipline be that drawing, writing, meditation or prayer, may aid in balancing these two worlds. Our insistence on teaching children to pass the standardized tests such as those erected by “No Child Left Behind” have superseded any space given for such pursuits and allowed creative outlets within our school system to disappear like rain forests, and as a result have robbed the children of this great nation of essential outlets for their inner existence.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I guess you could say I'm a optimist because I feel that everyone can be creative, but this is not an opinion this is a fact.<span style=""> </span>We know that everyone at some point in their life has drawn, sang, danced or acted.<span style=""> </span>The problem is that we've been indoctrinating people to believe that if you can't do something exceptionally well then you shouldn't do it at all. All children draw, color, sing and dance but as they grow up we steer them away from these activities by stigmatizing them with the idea of the starving artist. We narrow a child's focus by preparing them to direct all of their energy toward a career, more specifically a financially stable career, without realizing that the creative skills someone is taught in the arts can be applied to other disciplines as well. Academics and standardized testing often do little to teach a child to think outside the box and tend to terrify them into confining themselves within said box.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">In his now famous TED talks Robinson told the stories about Gillian Lynne, a choreographer who is famous for "Cats," and "Phantom of the Opera", and a firefighter who transcended his teachers dissuasion. In the first story Lynne explained an experience in which her school thought she had a learning disability because she couldn't sit still in class. Thankfully the doctor that her mother took her to realized that she couldn't sit still because she wanted to dance, and that the action of moving actually helped her think. That was in the 40's, and Robinson pointed out that in this current educational climate a child in Lynn's shoes would probably be diagnosed with A.D.D. The story of the firefighter is about a similar adversity, in this case the firefighter already knew what he wanted to do with his life, but a teacher told him that he was throwing his life away if that was what he chose to do with it. The firefighter went on to tell Robinson, during a book signing, that 6 months ago he saved that teacher and his wife from a car wreck, and stated that, “I think he thinks better of me now.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">These stories are the precursors to how our current educational system has descended into a banal and outdated system, that is slowly becoming irrelevant. If a school can't teach our children to read, rationalize, and think creatively, while at the same time helping them to discover their true talents, not the ones we try to map on to them, then what good are they? Robinson said that “Creativity now is as important in education as literacy, and we should treat it with the same status.”, This statement seems to reiterate the fear that on our current course, creativity and innovation, will slowly become a residue in this culture, something that we use to possess but has now faded away; a residual effect of a once prosperous and advanced country. It seems as though, even though we may have good teachers out there, that the system is set up in a way to promote failure by encouraging people to go to college for all the wrong reasons. One of which, ranked highest in a recent poll, was to make a lot of money. So now we have young adults going to college, selecting majors that don't emphasize their talents, and leaving our country with more disenfranchised students becoming dropouts, unemployed with a 50,000 dollar bachelor's degree or unfulfilled by a job they may excel at, but which fails to feed their passions in life.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">We can keep doing the same thing over and over again, reform after reform, or we can create a new model, a new paradigm, that encourages people to discover their talents and passions, <i>before </i>they attend college. I've always found it quite disconcerting that our system seems to have no payout until you pay in, but, hey, I guess that's America. What I mean by that is, to a degree, it seems as though primary schools are more occupied with getting students ready for college then getting them ready for life, and for good reason. Let's face it, with the price we pay with degree inflation, you have to start as early as possible, right? We all know by now an Associate degree <i>is</i> worthless, and a Bachelor's is becoming worthless, it’s really just a matter of time, as is always the case with inflation. It’s as though we've created a system that digs its own grave on a day to day basis by applying ideologies about education that are over 200 years old. Is this what this country has become? Nothing more than a banal unoriginal landscape of conformity built on perpetuating a model of unquestioned ideas and ideologies, which prevents any real paradigm shift from ever taking place? Or have we just lost focus, and don't give a shit anymore?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> -The Dead Guy<br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p>notaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-81043594934783990122010-10-28T21:18:00.000-04:002010-10-28T21:34:15.937-04:00Are We The Ones We've Been Waiting For?<a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/wed-october-27-2010-barack-obama">http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/wed-october-27-2010-barack-obama</a><br /><br />As you all know, I'm sure, President Obama was on The Daily Show last night. The Dead Guy and I were going to try to liveblog during the broadcast, but it didn't really work out that way. Partly because of technological issues and party because I was too awestruck to react. Perhaps, I thought, it would be more fruitful to post a link to the episode here, along with some of my thoughts, and invite people to comment with their own thoughts.<br /><br />To begin with, I was impressed with both President Obama and Stewart in that they seemed to be carefully displaying a mutual respect for one another. I was also impressed with the fact that Stewart was fairly tenacious in pressing Obama on issues such as the flawed healthcare bill and his performance versus his campaign promises. I do wish that Obama had been a little more direct in his answer to Stewart's questions about infrastructural changes within government and I was extremely taken aback by the president's insistence that the healthcare bill is similar to social security and civil rights. However, I think he made a good point regarding people's expectations and reality when he pointed out that there are always people who wish that change would occur more swiftly. At the end of the day however, I walked away from the broadcast with a sense of several things. One of which was that I had witnessed a historical event. The second was that I was, and am, fairly certain that John Stewart is probably the most hard hitting journalist of our time. The third is that I am very excited for October 30th and the Rally To Restore Sanity.<br /><br />Anyway, what are your thoughts?<br /><br />-Shannonnotaslazyasyouthinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01889393245591294904noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3264198853067733976.post-8686000155831916952010-10-14T23:08:00.000-04:002010-10-14T23:14:38.170-04:00How To Be a Dick:College EditionJust in time for midterms! Here it is! 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mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">1.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Getting There: Your college has undoubtedly bowed to the politically correct police and provided several close parking spots for the “differently abled”.<span style=""> </span>Don’t let those lousy cripples get the prime spots.<span style=""> </span>It’s not your fault they got old or infirm.<span style=""> </span>Proudly pull into one of those “handicapped spots.” and saunter to the elevator from there.<span style=""> </span>Your hangover surely must entitle you to special treatment.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">2.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>In the Common Areas: If you’re a smoker, there is prime opportunity for douchiness here!<span style=""> </span>Simply stand directly in front of the door, beneath the sign that requests that you move 20 feet away before lighting up and puff away.<span style=""> </span>Blow your smoke into the building, if possible, or simply blow it in the faces of those walking by.<span style=""> </span>Ignore that handy “smokers outpost” in favor of the ground.<span style=""> </span>Bonus points if you do this when the elderly custodian is in the process of sweeping, or if you manage to harass members of the opposite sex in the process.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">3.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span> In Class: Arrive 15 minutes late, slam the door and scrape your seat loudly across the linoleum. Once seated, make a big show of removing your jacket, sweater or coat, but DO NOT remove your sunglasses.<span style=""> </span>Once fully settled, begin asking the professor what you missed, after all, you are paying for this class and deserve to be caught up properly.<span style=""> </span>It’s not <i style="">your </i>fault that class begins too early for you!<span style=""> </span>Demand your money’s worth.<span style=""> </span>You are entitled to it. After you’re finished with getting started, it’s time for the real fun to begin.<span style=""> </span>Be sure to attempt to derail any lecture by arguing with your professor over that fact you just know is right because the internet told you so.<span style=""> </span>Obviously, your mastery of point and click navigating while hitting a bong is a much clearer qualification than, say, 10 years of schooling in one specific topic.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">4.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span> Discussion Time: Whenever there is a class discussion, don’t even bother reading the assigned text, it’s boring and anyway, you can ask the smart girl next to you what it was about at a later time. Instead, rant aimlessly about something which may possibly be tangentially related to the course.<span style=""> </span>For example: If your class is discussing psychology, you can dismiss the professor’s serious inquiry into the differences between men and women by exclaiming loudly “I know what to do about that! Punch the bitch in the face!”* Alternately, you can wait with baited breath for the professor to utter any word regarding the U.S. Government and then use that to launch into a tirade on how 9/11 was an inside job.<span style=""> </span>You’ll waste precious class time, and manage to entertain yourself in the process.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">5.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Cell Phone Fun:<span style=""> </span>Every syllabus has a requisite warning about cell phones in the class room.<span style=""> </span>Ignore it.<span style=""> </span>If you get bored, you can use your phone to text, make calls, play games and even play ringtone DJ.<span style=""> </span>If your phone rings while the class is having a lecture, answer it by repeatedly yelling “HELLO”.<span style=""> </span>Once you’ve established that there is indeed another person on the other end, as opposed to, say, a phantom, loudly and repeatedly yell to them that you are in class.<span style=""> </span>Keep this going for as long as possible.<span style=""> </span>Should anyone dare to give you a dirty look, defensively proclaim that you are important and need to take <i style="">all </i>of your calls.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">6.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Fun With English: When assigned an essay, it’s best if you remember that our new internet rebus language has eliminated the need to actually spell any word all the way out. Save valuable drinking time by not bothering to ever type out the word “you” when you can use “u” instead. If you can’t remember the common abbreviation for a work, simply make up yur on!** Those Tchers R 2 stoopid if dey dont get wat u r pitin dwn.***<span style=""> </span>Additionally, grammar is for jerks and old ladies.<span style=""> </span>No need for commas or periods in your papers the brilliance of your observations should be what is important anyway especially since you know all about how our government is cheating us and hiding aliens and you should be able to enlighten the professor at your leisure. Bonus points if you make up your own words or hand in all of your assignments in handwriting. Bonus points if you argue over your grade by telling your professor that they need to be more aware of what’s going on with the English language.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">7.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span> More Technological Fun: If your professor allows you to use a laptop in class, you’re in real luck.<span style=""> </span>First, the simple act of dramatically placing your laptop on the desk and opening it is enough to help you win the dickhead award.<span style=""> </span>However, since we’re way into overachieving here in college, lets up the ante and play World Of Warcraft during class.<span style=""> </span>This will give you credibility when you are completing step 4. After all, nothing says “I know conspiracy theory” like displaying your tendency toward gaming.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">8.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span> Dress Code: If you are female, or wish to be seen as female, you should not waste time actually putting real clothes on for class.<span style=""> </span>Instead, you should wear your shortest PJ shorts (preferably with some salacious word stretched across your ass) and your skimpiest tank top.<span style=""> </span>You’ll need the extra time to add pounds of makeup, an entire bottle of perfume and your most expensive jewelry.<span style=""> </span>Just add UGGS and you’re ready to go.<span style=""> </span>If you’re male, you’ll want to have a variety of button down shirts with popable collars.<span style=""> </span>Always pop your collar.<span style=""> </span>Additionally, make sure you bathe in cologne before coming to class.<span style=""> </span>This way, no one will be able smell last night’s Jager shots as the seep out of your pores.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">9.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span> After Class:<span style=""> </span>Whew. That was tiring! Begin loudly packing your things about 15 minutes before class ends. Once that is completed, do not actually leave the classroom.<span style=""> </span>Instead, stand in the doorway for ten minutes yelling to your buddy about how hot that chick you banged last night was, or theorize eloquently over whether or not the professor is a “cock smoker”.<span style=""> </span>People will try to get past you at this point, but stand strong! You are, again, entitled to be there!</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">10.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span> Cafeteria Time: Since all that hard work undoubtedly made you hungry, why not stop by the cafeteria to grab a quick bite between classes.<span style=""> </span>Once there, be sure to look at the selection of food as slowly as possible. Exclaim that it all looks “fucking disgusting” within earshot of the people who made it.<span style=""> </span>Select something anyway.<span style=""> </span>Eat a small portion of it while drowning it in condiments and continue complaining about it.<span style=""> </span>Once done, leave your trash on the table.<span style=""> </span>In this economy, that lowlife who cleans up after you is lucky to have a job!<span style=""> </span>If you must dispose of something yourself, place it in the absolutely wrong bin.<span style=""> </span>Recyclable item? Straight into the garbage! Greasy food waste? Right in the recycling bin!<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">-Shannon (Who Don’t Need No Education)</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">*<i style="">Yes, this actually really happened in a real class and no, the professor did not remove the student. 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The student failed out.</i></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><i style=""> </i></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast"><i style="">***Actual English Translation: Those teachers are too stupid if they don’t get what you’re putting down.</i></p> <br /><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> 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